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Need My Fix
#41
She almost quit eating because he demanded she do it, but it was food. It wasn’t a fight worth getting into. The food was good too. Tatyana ate mostly in silence, not really offering up anything. She was content to be ignored for now, but by the time she was done she was ready to leave.

Tatyana muttered her thanks for the food. It was quiet, but genuine. Then she excused herself to leave after getting reminded about the time of her next visit. Part of her still wondered if she was going to show up. These people didn’t fit neatly into her worldview. It was a reminder of a time she thought gone. She bundled up against the snow and headed back to the church.

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#42
Hayden listened and wondered if Nox would actually be able to help. It wasn't a usual emotional block, but it was still emotional. She wanted to feel nothing -- something Nox knew a bit about lately. He hadn't thought about it when he suggested he could help her. And he was also pretty certain that she didn't like Nox being bossy ut he hadn't meant anything by it more than just she should eat.

But they ate in relative silence. Nox talking to Lily a little while he ate. He made her a bottle. Tanya left leaving them alone. He sat there finishing his food. Nox left with a grin and put the baby into her bed in the back room. He came back and leaned against the hallway door. "I assume you wanted to talk. You've been avoiding me."

Hayden chuckled. "I wasn't sure you wanted to talk to me."

Nox shrugged. "I'm not upset with you. You didn't talk me into anything I didn't want to do."

Hayden walked over to Nox and stood in front of him. "Then what is it? I feel the tension, see it in the way you look at me."

Nox sighed. "You see me as me. You like who I am. You want to be part of my family. You just don't want me." He pushed passed like his words meant nothing. Like they didn't matter and started to clean up the kitchen.

"Nox. I don't do relationships, you know this."

He nodded. "I know that, Hayden. That's what I'm pissed about. The man I fucking love doesn't want my help, doesn't even want me in his life anymore. He won't ever trust me because of the fucking Horde in my head. The horde was gone, and any chance I had with him is gone forever. I'm just pissed at the fucking world and all the shit in it. I know I fucked it up."

Nox shook his head. Hayden could see the clenched fisted, the anger boiling inside that he was keeping to himself. It was such a small thing, he looked calm, he sounded calm but Hayden knew there was fury just below the surface. "I'll watch Lily till Liam or Marta come to collect her. You know where to find me."

Nox stared at Hayden with sadness etched all over his face. Hayden didn't like seeing the look much less directed at him. And Nox knew it. He turned and walked back out of the house. Hayden spoke to the AI in the room. "Monitor him Sky. Make sure he doesn't do something stupid."

"On it."
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