Forced Withdrawals [Nox's Building]

[Tatyana]

Tatyana wasn’t sure she was looking forward to seeing Ashton now. He hated her and that was bad enough. Now he knew that he had been messing with her mind too. Everything seemed back and forth. They helped, but did it in their own way, and without telling.

Ashton came with a woman. Tatyana assumed it was Liv. Ashton approached with Liv following and asked how they could help. Was he asking her or Hayden. Tatyana waited and when Hayden didn’t say anything, she answered.

”Im stuck here, and my pills are elsewhere,” her voice was unhappy, even irritated. As with Hayden, she didn’t say more. She just raised her shaking hands as if it explained all.

[Marta]

Marta watched for awhile, but soon went upstairs, figuring that Liam could use a break from Lily. The adults were up here having drinks. The adult she didn’t really know was up here too. Talking with Hayden, Liv, and Ashton. The smell was still odd. Scared, but different. She didn’t know what it meant.

Someone had Lily, and Marta relieved them, making sure to grab the diaper bag. She turned around to see Jackson and moved out of the way so he could walk by. He must be getting something from his room. As he walked away, Marta smiled, her eyes following him.

The they turned into a frown. She couldn’t let anything happen there. She knew it. Her feelings didn’t matter in this. If she even tried, it would end in pain - for both of them. She was sure she would hurt him worse. Marta had thought about it a lot, and the only conclusion was to not do anything about it and bury what she felt. She waited for a bit, then went to a room where she could quietly spend time with Lily. She wanted to be alone for a bit.

[Hayden]

When Liv and Ashton arrived Hayden noticed Marta coming upstairs. She took Lily, watched as Jackson went about his business without anything so much more than a word. He knew there were things there that were an issue -- Jackson had his own thing and his and Marta's sorta collided together, but it looked more than what it should be. She seemed to be avoiding him for some reason. And Jackson was too busy to notice -- there were kids everywhere and he was used to helping out around the house.

Hayden put his hand on Ashton's shoulder. "You got this?"

Ashton gave me a quick frightened look and then nodded. He had it. He could manage it. He was good kid -- even if he was having a rough go of adjusting to his new life.

Hayden didn't follow immediately but he excused himself from the group and made a trip to the bathroom in Nox's room and hung out there for a bit before he found his way down the hall and knocked on the partially open door. "You alright?" Hayden said poking his head in the door, not quite entering yet. He wanted to make sure she understood he'd bugger off if she wanted.

[Ashton]

Olivia Mitchel

Liv nodded as Hayden left them. She turned to the strange woman. She looked ragged. It wouldn't be the first time she'd taken the edge off of pain, but this was different.

"I can take the edge off, but I don't know what else it'll do for this sorta thing."

---

Ashton smiled at Hayden and took a deep breath -- Liv was older, he wasn't too much younger, but still it was different being here than back at the Blackthorns. They had a choice. Ashton didn't really ask permission as he just started humming a tune. It was something he liked but it carried the weight of calm and relaxation and he hoped pain relief. Though he'd never actually ever tried to tell someone not to hurt anymore.

[Tatyana]

Tatyana felt herself becoming calmer. She heard Ashton humming. Knowing now that he was making her calm should have made her upset, but all she felt was calm. She narrowed her eyes calmly at Ashton. "I know what you're doing to me," she said. She would have said it with some venom, but she couldn't.

The woman said she could take the edge off, but that was it. Tatyana turned to her. "I don't need it now. This is the start. Just shaking, don't even have the headache yet, but it's going to get worse. I'm not sure how worse. It's been a long time since I've gone over a day with out my pills. I just wanted you guys to know because...I don't know...things are probably going to get rough." she said, her voice very even. Stupid song.

[Ashton]

Liv chuckled when she accused Ashton of playing games. She grinned. "You get used to it. I'll be here. You can ask Sky to find me, or look for me. If you think you want it. Or you can just hang with Ashton. He can take the edge off most things. Including anger."

Ashton sighed. "I don't think she likes me humming." He sang with the same emotions. "Though sing song always makes me look weirder than I already am." He smiled. "Do you want me to go away?"

[Marta]

Marta went into Lily's room. She took a seat and held Lily tight. She probably could have set Lily down in her crib, but Marta wanted to hold the infant right now. Lily smiled up at her. Lily liked Marta. "May you never have to know the pain some of us have to know," she said quietly.

A few moments later, Hayden was sticking his head in the door asking if she was alright. Marta wasn't surprised he had seen something. He seemed to see everything around him. "I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" she said, her tone not really matching the words. It was a lie and it felt weird on her lips. She couldn't remember ever lying to anyone here before. She certainly never had lied to Hayden about how she was feeling.

She sighed. "Or I'm not," she gestured for Hayden to come in but didn't look up. "You saw how I look at Jackson, I guess. I never really thought about things like that. Not until recently. It was like a light switch. All of the sudden boys had bright lips and pretty eyes and...hips..."

Marta pulled Lily closer, gathering her thoughts. The situation was more complicated than it seemed on the surface. "It's not about Jackson. I like him. I told him. He said we should just be friends. I get it. That doesn't hurt - at least not that bad. It does a little I guess, but it's not about that. It's...deeper. It's about when I think about more than friendship with anyone..." she bit her bottom lip in frustrated thought. It was hard to find words. "It's not like when you or Nox or anyone hugs me. Our relationship isn't like that it never will be. It's not about sex either. It's hand holding...kissing...even hugging and knowing someone is more than a friend...I know what will happen. I know I'll freak out."

Marta wasn't sure when the tears had started falling. Her breathing hadn't changed. She just felt the hot tears stinging her eyes and drawing lines down her face. "No one else should have to suffer for my scars." Marta's voice turned resolute as she continued. "I'll be fine. I know the truth, and when it settles I'll be fine. The truth that I'm never going to have someone special like that. It wouldn't be fair to that person. Just one more thing the cartels stole from me."

Marta hadn't looked up at Hayden the whole time. She had kept her eyes on Lily. They said that Lily was good for healing. Marta felt no healing at that moment. Only empty pain.

[Hayden]

Hayden shut the door behind him and sat down on the floor in front of Marta and listened. And when she was done he smiled. "You know the good thing about crushing on Jackson is he has his own issues around relationships. The two of you can learn to have a healthy relationship together. He has scars too. His abuse wasn't at the hands of the cartel, it was at the hand of the people who were supposed to love him and care for him."

Hayden smiled. "I think that just like it took you time trust Ricky. It will be the same in this. You are still young, sweetheart, and you don't need to worry about love just yet -- or sex. And it's better for you and Jackson maybe if you are taking slow."

Hayden tapped her knee. "How about after this shit storm of snow I take you guys out to the mall, where you can walk and shop and eat like a pair of normal teenagers."

[Marta]

Marta listened to his response but didn’t meet his gaze right away. She knew Jackson had his scars. They all did. Most of them were messed up somehow. Hayden was probably right. He always was. Love and sex weren’t even on her radar really. But she did like Jackson. Abuse sucked. None of them should have had to go through it. Sometimes Marta just wished she had been a normal girl.

But she knew she wanted that. That simple day that Hayden spoke of. Going to the mall, looking at stuff, having lunch in the food court. To some people it might have seemed dull, to Marta it sounded like an adventure. Marta looked up at Hayden. ”I think I’d like that. If he would want to go.” she didn’t know if he would. She didn’t know if she should ask. All of this was still new to her.

[Tatyana]

Tatyana nodded at Liv. ”I’ll let you know if I think I need help. We’ll see if it does or not,” she really didn’t know what to expect.

Tatyana turned back to Ashton. He stopped humming only to start singing. She still felt calm. That hasn’t lapsed. It was an interesting power she supposed. Could be dangerous if applied the right way. He said it made him look weirder than he already was. Tatyana didn’t know what it was about what he said that got to her. It was sort of goofy, and in a way that made it charming. She smiled a bit and let out a short, small laugh.

”No,” she said about him leaving, surprising herself. She wasn’t sure if he was doing this or not, but she didn’t think he was. ”But I should check on Kenzie. She might need me.”

Tatyana got off the stool. Her hands still shook, but she needed to make sure Kenzie was okay. Madison would be fine. Kenzie might be overwhelmed. Tatyana walked a few steps away before she turned back to Ashton. ”You can come with me if you want.” she didn’t wait for an answer, she just headed back downstairs to see how Kenzie was doing.