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Allan was still reeling from the blast taken from his side. He glared at Nox even as the Ascendancy agreed they were done and someone should stay behind. He was grateful he wasn't chosen but he didn't like the idea of leaving Nox down here with those things. "What makes you trust him?" Allan thrust his finger at Nox from his distance wishing he could kill with the gesture. "He could bring that horde up top. He felt them all dying. He's one of them. Why do you trust him not to take you out when the time is right?" Allan's voice turned from anger to worried concern. It felt almost like he whined to be listened to, but he was sure he was right. Why did the Ascendancy trust this man he was already a known traitor to his own kind and he lived like he was not. He would fell any one of them in a heart beat -- wasn't that what the Atharim did and he proclaimed to be nothing but Atharim. The same people who hunted the Ascendancy -- killed innocent boys and girls who were sick in pain. Their legacy was death and the Ascendancy trusted this boy with the fate of his very own home -- his people.
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The warning in Allan’s voice echoed, but the younger man’s defiance was a flicker of an interruption. Nox was occupied with his inner world. Marcus and Jay kept the surrounding area secure. Nikolai was lost in the recesses of his own mind, building out tactics and contingencies. They would need to revert to the surface and any security in place would need immediate redirection. The secrecy, perception and risk involved filtered through Nik’s brain like a sieve. And then there was this accusation and the pyramid of ideas at the forefront of his attention rattled.
His voice was cold but calm even as new considerations were constructed. Neither did he want to alienate Allan’s passion and protectiveness, nor did he want to deal with this distracting disturbance any longer. He pulled Allan aside quickly and narrowed the tone of his voice to a seething whisper, “because he’s had many opportunities to ‘take me out’ and didn’t.”
That he revealed vulnerability at all grated to the bone. Ascendancy was never vulnerable. He was always the god, always right, in all ways powerful. Marcus knew better. Together they skirted as close to death as one could until Jensen pulled them from the brink. Nox was already aware of the times the threads of their lives nearly knotted with the end. Now Allan knew. Carpenter alone was ignorant of the fallibility of his great leader. He hated that he had to say it. Hated that Allan forced him to acknowledge it.
“Now isn’t the time in a lesson on tactics. Go,” he waved away Nox and Jay and headed back the way they came, hopefully with Marcus and Allan following.
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The Ascendancy took him aside and reassured him that if Nox wanted him dead he could have tried many times. It was not a comfort at all. He was dangerous. But the man left. And Allan followed with a grave hesitation.
He stared back at the boy. He was gnawing on a jerky stick again. Nox didn't look at peace. He looked tired and Allan was sure he would fail. They had all barely survived, how were Jay and Nox supposed to kill every beast in the tunnels? How many where there? Was it even a threat? Why was this a good plan. Kill them all now. Surely this was the bigger problem. And kill Nox too -- he was one of them.
Allan stewed for the remainder of their trip. He was not happy about any of this. This was not how it was supposed to go. He didn't learn anything. And the fights were not what he expected -- nothing like things he'd read in the book the Ascendancy showed him. He'd seen nothing.