07-26-2014, 04:13 PM
He spoke of darkness and the memories that hung on a thread just out of reach dangled in front of her again. Aria tried to fight the tears, but they fell anyway. Aria took comfort in his words, his strength of character. She didn't know what he'd been through, but he had gotten through.
Lucas touched her arm and Aria fought the urge to pull away. She could feel more of his strength now that he was touching her and his struggles just below the surface. He stepped between her and the wall and she closed her eyes. Fear, she didn't want him to see her cry. He puts his hand on her cheek and she could feel the warmth of his hand on her cheek. The tears fell, but she didn't make a sound. She couldn't do more than nod, she didn't trust her voice. She didn't exactly know why but she really did trust him.
As he stood in front of her, her eyes closed and she was still, as if bracing herself. And when he touched her cheek, tears began to leak from her eyes. And in that moment, all the strength that he'd head surged into him, every inclination, every urge, every desire to grant her strength. It overpowered him and he stepped forward to enfold her in his arms gently. He willed every ounce of strength and vitality to her, all the sense of worth and purpose and peace he'd acquired he tried to give her with his arms and his hands and his chest and his voice.
Stroking her hair gently he whispered "It's ok, it's ok. Let it out."
It was all he had for her. It would not solve her problems or make them go away. But it wasn't nothing either. He remembered the day Valentin had done the same for him, had helped him begin to feel wanted and worthy. It was the beginning of his creation of himself into the man that he was now.
The others in the shop didn't matter. People needed what they needed. There was no shame in needing another person or their support. He'd learned that long ago. So he held her to him. It was her choice whether to accept his gift or not. But he was here for her.
Aria gasped when he wrapped his arms around her. Her cheek touched the tattoo on his chest and she could feel every needle that had drawn the tattoo. She swallowed, but it didn't make the pain stop. It overwhelmed her. She could barely feel what he was trying to do. He didn't know.
She stood stiffly in his arms trying to fight the pain and focus on everything else, but the pain was winning. Aria clutched her fingers together, her nails biting into her palms. She couldn't take it anymore, she put her hand on Lucas' chest.
That had been far more a mistake than letting him be. She sank to her knees and curled into a ball, or she could have if he hadn't been holding her so tightly. It took every ounce of her own strength to regain her footing and focusing on his to push him away. She looked up at him with pain in her eyes. She didn't push him far away, but enough that she wasn't touching his skin. She pleaded. "Please don't touch me."
Aria pulled away from his arms and took her gloves from her coat pocket and put them on. She tried to smile reassuringly at him. But the tears still fell, but now for more than one reason, she didn't like hurting him. Aria put a hand on his chest and one around his neck and whispered in his ear. She would tell him, but she wouldn't tell the world. "I feel everything. I feel the pain of the needle for your customer over there. I feel your co-worker's jealousy. I feel your strength, your concern, your struggle. When you touched me, I felt the past pain of your tattoo. I felt your struggles as if they were my own. It hurt, but it was so much more than that. I wasn't ready. Too much contact overwhelms my control."
Aria wrapped her arms around him and put her check against the only part of his chest that didn't have a tattoo. She held him tightly, and the tears fell. It was the first and only time in her entire life, that she had felt anything like this - nothing even came close.
She was shaking in his arms, trying to move. He felt her legs go weak and he tightened his embrace so she wouldn't fall. His heart melted at the pain that was overwhelming her. He wished he could give her his strength. She pushed away though, looking up at him pleadingly. "Please don't touch me."
He let go so she could move back. He felt bad. He hadn't meant to...to intrude or force himself on her. It was hard, sometimes, trying to read what people needed, how he could help them. There was always the possibility that, like he had now, he'd overstep. He watched her put her gloves on, as if she was going to leave and he felt his heart sink. A woman with this much pain and struggle called out to him. He wanted to save her as he had been saved. If she wanted it.
She tried to smile at him it seemed, her tears still coming down her face. Then, strangely, she placed her gloved hand on his chest and pulled his head down to speak into his ear. He wasn't sure he could believe what she said. He'd never heard of such a thing, outside of science fiction stuff. But then, she put her arms around him and held onto him tightly, her cheek against his chest, just hold still, as if he was an anchor for her. All doubt fled from him. He'd worry about what she said later. He just held on to her, letting himself be what she needed.
He wasn't sure how long they stood, but he also didn't care. Her dark hair was against his cheek, her warm body against his. And he was her savior, at least for the moment, at least in just this one thing. He held her against him, peace and tranquility flowing through him. This is what he lived for.
The tears subsided, comfort was not something she felt often. Time passed, the customer under the needle had finished a while ago. Aria finally pulled away with a smile, drying the last of the tears from her cheek with the back of her hand. It was barely a whisper. "I'm sorry."
Aria glanced out the window. It was growing late, the sun was setting, as much as she'd like to stay she wanted to be home despite her neighbors before night feel, and she had to find her bearings. "I should get home."
She looked into his blue eyes and smiled. He had a very strange affect on her moods. It was strange that she felt better, she didn't want to go home and drown the world away. It was a good day.
However long it was, he held her, let her cling to him for whatever she needed. Finally, she stirred. Sergei had finished with the customer and he soon heard the bell of the door closing. Sergei looked at him and he nodded and pointed with his head to the back. Sergei left the room. Lucas knew he was getting his things and leaving. It was just him and this woman, this Aria. The name was sweet in his mind.
Finally, she pulled back and began to wipe the tears from her eyes. She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen and he wanted to pull her back to him. But he didn't. It was her need that drove things. He would not push. He was there only to give to her, to help her. "I'm sorry,
she whispered. He smiled. People always did that, they were always embarrassed about showing their emotions. As if it were something shameful to be human and weak. He smiled at her reassuringly. "You don't have to be ashamed for being human. It's ok to need something from someone."
He gently tucked a stray hair behind her ear, looking into her emerald eyes. He did not feel lust for her. He felt compassion. He tried to fill his eyes and his voice with confidence in her. "It's alright. You'll be alright."
She looked at him and said she had to go. No. He shook his head. She didn't. He didn't want her to be alone. He gazed into her eyes. "Please don't. Stay, please."
He took her gloved hand in his, felt where it extended all the way up to her elbow. Gently, eyes on hers, he pulled the glove off, careful not to touch her. She said she could feel what he felt. He took all his feeling of wanting good for her, of wanting her to find peace and happiness, filled himself with his complete desire for her...for her...for her to be filled with joy and contentment, his caring for her, and he let his finger touch her skin.
He watched her eyes intently, trying to see what happened.
"It's alright. You'll be alright."
It was hard to believe that. Nothing was ever alright. Her life hung by a thread in so many different ways, one push in the wrong direction and life would be over.
Too many variables, too many people, the least of which was herself. She didn't believe his words, she mumbled softly to herself. "I'll survive.
And that's all she'd do, that's all she had ever done.
Lucas asked her to stay. She really should go, but she wanted to stay too. He looked her in the eyes and she couldn't help but stare back as his fingers ran up her hand and over her arm to the top of her glove. She could feel everything he was feeling, but when he touched her it became more real, more a part of her.
Never had anyone even remotely cared this much for her. Not even as a child could she remember anything other than the bond between teacher and student. There was never any love, much less any real care for her passed. And once she killed that boy, there was nothing, not even a pat on the back from Father Dimitri.
Aria wanted to stay even more now, but fear rode beneath the surface. She smiled and nodded she'd stay, but he needed to know everything. They were alone now. She smiled softly. "I'll stay, but if I stay you have to know."
There were no words that could describe it. Aria embraced the fear underneath and pulled both gloves off and tucked them in her back pocket. She looked up with the fear clear on her face. She touched his cheek and sent him the fear she felt. "Losing control, is not safe for you anymore than it is for me."
Aria took her hand away and pushed the fear away. She wanted to believe him, to believe what he said. But experience told her differently, it always was jaded.
Edited by Aria, Jul 26 2014, 04:13 PM.
Lucas touched her arm and Aria fought the urge to pull away. She could feel more of his strength now that he was touching her and his struggles just below the surface. He stepped between her and the wall and she closed her eyes. Fear, she didn't want him to see her cry. He puts his hand on her cheek and she could feel the warmth of his hand on her cheek. The tears fell, but she didn't make a sound. She couldn't do more than nod, she didn't trust her voice. She didn't exactly know why but she really did trust him.
As he stood in front of her, her eyes closed and she was still, as if bracing herself. And when he touched her cheek, tears began to leak from her eyes. And in that moment, all the strength that he'd head surged into him, every inclination, every urge, every desire to grant her strength. It overpowered him and he stepped forward to enfold her in his arms gently. He willed every ounce of strength and vitality to her, all the sense of worth and purpose and peace he'd acquired he tried to give her with his arms and his hands and his chest and his voice.
Stroking her hair gently he whispered "It's ok, it's ok. Let it out."
It was all he had for her. It would not solve her problems or make them go away. But it wasn't nothing either. He remembered the day Valentin had done the same for him, had helped him begin to feel wanted and worthy. It was the beginning of his creation of himself into the man that he was now.
The others in the shop didn't matter. People needed what they needed. There was no shame in needing another person or their support. He'd learned that long ago. So he held her to him. It was her choice whether to accept his gift or not. But he was here for her.
Aria gasped when he wrapped his arms around her. Her cheek touched the tattoo on his chest and she could feel every needle that had drawn the tattoo. She swallowed, but it didn't make the pain stop. It overwhelmed her. She could barely feel what he was trying to do. He didn't know.
She stood stiffly in his arms trying to fight the pain and focus on everything else, but the pain was winning. Aria clutched her fingers together, her nails biting into her palms. She couldn't take it anymore, she put her hand on Lucas' chest.
That had been far more a mistake than letting him be. She sank to her knees and curled into a ball, or she could have if he hadn't been holding her so tightly. It took every ounce of her own strength to regain her footing and focusing on his to push him away. She looked up at him with pain in her eyes. She didn't push him far away, but enough that she wasn't touching his skin. She pleaded. "Please don't touch me."
Aria pulled away from his arms and took her gloves from her coat pocket and put them on. She tried to smile reassuringly at him. But the tears still fell, but now for more than one reason, she didn't like hurting him. Aria put a hand on his chest and one around his neck and whispered in his ear. She would tell him, but she wouldn't tell the world. "I feel everything. I feel the pain of the needle for your customer over there. I feel your co-worker's jealousy. I feel your strength, your concern, your struggle. When you touched me, I felt the past pain of your tattoo. I felt your struggles as if they were my own. It hurt, but it was so much more than that. I wasn't ready. Too much contact overwhelms my control."
Aria wrapped her arms around him and put her check against the only part of his chest that didn't have a tattoo. She held him tightly, and the tears fell. It was the first and only time in her entire life, that she had felt anything like this - nothing even came close.
She was shaking in his arms, trying to move. He felt her legs go weak and he tightened his embrace so she wouldn't fall. His heart melted at the pain that was overwhelming her. He wished he could give her his strength. She pushed away though, looking up at him pleadingly. "Please don't touch me."
He let go so she could move back. He felt bad. He hadn't meant to...to intrude or force himself on her. It was hard, sometimes, trying to read what people needed, how he could help them. There was always the possibility that, like he had now, he'd overstep. He watched her put her gloves on, as if she was going to leave and he felt his heart sink. A woman with this much pain and struggle called out to him. He wanted to save her as he had been saved. If she wanted it.
She tried to smile at him it seemed, her tears still coming down her face. Then, strangely, she placed her gloved hand on his chest and pulled his head down to speak into his ear. He wasn't sure he could believe what she said. He'd never heard of such a thing, outside of science fiction stuff. But then, she put her arms around him and held onto him tightly, her cheek against his chest, just hold still, as if he was an anchor for her. All doubt fled from him. He'd worry about what she said later. He just held on to her, letting himself be what she needed.
He wasn't sure how long they stood, but he also didn't care. Her dark hair was against his cheek, her warm body against his. And he was her savior, at least for the moment, at least in just this one thing. He held her against him, peace and tranquility flowing through him. This is what he lived for.
The tears subsided, comfort was not something she felt often. Time passed, the customer under the needle had finished a while ago. Aria finally pulled away with a smile, drying the last of the tears from her cheek with the back of her hand. It was barely a whisper. "I'm sorry."
Aria glanced out the window. It was growing late, the sun was setting, as much as she'd like to stay she wanted to be home despite her neighbors before night feel, and she had to find her bearings. "I should get home."
She looked into his blue eyes and smiled. He had a very strange affect on her moods. It was strange that she felt better, she didn't want to go home and drown the world away. It was a good day.
However long it was, he held her, let her cling to him for whatever she needed. Finally, she stirred. Sergei had finished with the customer and he soon heard the bell of the door closing. Sergei looked at him and he nodded and pointed with his head to the back. Sergei left the room. Lucas knew he was getting his things and leaving. It was just him and this woman, this Aria. The name was sweet in his mind.
Finally, she pulled back and began to wipe the tears from her eyes. She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen and he wanted to pull her back to him. But he didn't. It was her need that drove things. He would not push. He was there only to give to her, to help her. "I'm sorry,
she whispered. He smiled. People always did that, they were always embarrassed about showing their emotions. As if it were something shameful to be human and weak. He smiled at her reassuringly. "You don't have to be ashamed for being human. It's ok to need something from someone."
He gently tucked a stray hair behind her ear, looking into her emerald eyes. He did not feel lust for her. He felt compassion. He tried to fill his eyes and his voice with confidence in her. "It's alright. You'll be alright."
She looked at him and said she had to go. No. He shook his head. She didn't. He didn't want her to be alone. He gazed into her eyes. "Please don't. Stay, please."
He took her gloved hand in his, felt where it extended all the way up to her elbow. Gently, eyes on hers, he pulled the glove off, careful not to touch her. She said she could feel what he felt. He took all his feeling of wanting good for her, of wanting her to find peace and happiness, filled himself with his complete desire for her...for her...for her to be filled with joy and contentment, his caring for her, and he let his finger touch her skin.
He watched her eyes intently, trying to see what happened.
"It's alright. You'll be alright."
It was hard to believe that. Nothing was ever alright. Her life hung by a thread in so many different ways, one push in the wrong direction and life would be over.
Too many variables, too many people, the least of which was herself. She didn't believe his words, she mumbled softly to herself. "I'll survive.
And that's all she'd do, that's all she had ever done.
Lucas asked her to stay. She really should go, but she wanted to stay too. He looked her in the eyes and she couldn't help but stare back as his fingers ran up her hand and over her arm to the top of her glove. She could feel everything he was feeling, but when he touched her it became more real, more a part of her.
Never had anyone even remotely cared this much for her. Not even as a child could she remember anything other than the bond between teacher and student. There was never any love, much less any real care for her passed. And once she killed that boy, there was nothing, not even a pat on the back from Father Dimitri.
Aria wanted to stay even more now, but fear rode beneath the surface. She smiled and nodded she'd stay, but he needed to know everything. They were alone now. She smiled softly. "I'll stay, but if I stay you have to know."
There were no words that could describe it. Aria embraced the fear underneath and pulled both gloves off and tucked them in her back pocket. She looked up with the fear clear on her face. She touched his cheek and sent him the fear she felt. "Losing control, is not safe for you anymore than it is for me."
Aria took her hand away and pushed the fear away. She wanted to believe him, to believe what he said. But experience told her differently, it always was jaded.
Edited by Aria, Jul 26 2014, 04:13 PM.