12-03-2014, 05:38 AM
Aria wasn't exactly sure that was him letting it go or not, but she wasn't going to press matters. "I'll go with you."
Her thoughts in the shower pretty much mimicked the same train.
He looked at her and seemed to smile a bit. "Ok."
He didn't seem to want to say more.
She smiled and grabbed a clean pair of jeans and t-shirt from her drawers and went to the bathroom to change. Not something she'd normally do, but under present company it was probably for the best, she smiled to herself. He always had a strange affect on her, those bright blue eyes of his watching her. She sighed.
She spoke through the door. "If you still want to find Mya afterwards we can. Though I don't think she wants our help."
Aria figured she'd go look for her again later, make sure she was okay. She didn't have any place to go, that Aria was sure of. But beyond that she didn't know anything else about the girl.
Aria finished pulling her t-shirt on and running a brush through her hair before pulling it up into a high ponytail and walked out the door. Her boots were the last thing she pulled on. Aria saw the empty sheath sitting by the door and sighed. She was going to miss that sword. Dude better give it back. But she had to rely on faith he would. Faith he'd call her, and faith he'd give it back as it was left him. She had no idea if the sword would survive the power of a god being used upon it. He seemed to want to study it. Aria shrugged at the thought, whatever. She just wanted it back.
Aria took her coat off the hook and put it on waiting for Lucas to be ready, not that he had much to do, he was still as handsome as ever. She tried not to blush at the thought and pushed it away.
Aria let Lucas lead the way, it was his meeting. They got on the metro. The silence wasn't awkward, but it was there, an eiry strange feeling, a lot had happened to both of them. Aria wanted to ask about her father, what he'd said, what'd they'd done. Why Lucas was feeling guilty. She understood Giordano had affected his demons, one being drinking, and his clean life style blown all because he was friends with her. She sighed and sat back in her chair. She was weaponless for the first time in a very long time. She hadn't even taken her gun with her. She felt uncomfortable without a weapon, almost naked.
As soon as their destination neared Aria knew which church they were going to, it was the same one that they'd gone to Mass at. This was a big step for her, admitting to someone what she'd done. No one knew. Only her and Dane. She was glad he was not anywhere near, glad he'd disappeared to Mexico when threats of being charged with kidnapping and murder surfaced. His name still invoked certain darkness inside, he had created the darkness with a mere glance, the notion that her humanity was not worth the woman's life. That Aria was a monster.
Aria smiled to herself she was a monster in human clothing, she looked at Lucas who was walking in front of her through the turn stiles as they left. He should probably stay far away, but she was drawn to him as much as to Dane, if not more. Lucas cared, really cared what happened to her. He brought light to her life. And that was worth doing this alone.
Lucas started for a side door, to his meeting presumably. She touched his arm before he got to far ahead. "I'm going in there.
She pointed to the sanctuary. "When you are done, that's where I'll be."
Lucas nodded and then smiled at her. He still looked troubled by the way his jaw kept clenching but there was something else in his blue eyes. Encouragement. He touched her arm, looking at her for a moment and then started for the door he'd been heading too. Aria watched him until he was inside. Aria started for the big doors that lead to the sanctuary proper.
Aria stopped at the steps before the Church and stared up at the heights. Aria pushed herself, one step and then another until she was inside. Aria crossed her self before entering the sanctuary and took a seat in the back pew. Well not a seat, she knelt and prayed. She asked God for the strength to do what needed to be done. And thanked him for Lucas and for his gifts.
Minutes, Hours, passed, Aria didn't really know before she took a seat in the confessional booth behind the screen. She closed her eyes and fought back the tears.
Aria crossed herself again starting the words she knew by heart. "In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. My last confession was 5 months, 3 weeks and 5 days ago."
The priest spoke softly and Aria barely heard the words. She was thinking too hard on the things she couldn't forget to say. He asked of her sins and Aria swallowed and took a deep breath. "I just found out that I took the life of a boy I knew when I was a child. It was truly an accident and I did not know what I was doing, but it weighs on my soul none-the-less."
It was an accident, she hadn't know what she was doing.
Aria continued. "Recently I've taken the souls of four innocents. Their deaths weigh more so on me. I do not wish to repeat such again, but it's a constant fight. The darkness is strong. I've also taken countless lives of other of God's creatures - things if I told you you wouldn't believe."
There was so much more to their deaths that she didn't share. Aria hung her head. "I've slept with two outside of marriage. And there are thoughts for another."
Aria added almost absently, "One was a woman."
Aria knew that thinking of Lucas in such a way was against God's will but it couldn't be helped. While she wasn't sorry for it, she would attempt to stay away her desires. It was almost as hard as keeping the darkness at bay.
"I've hurt friends because I could. I wanted to kill my father, and my bosses daughter."
Aria continued with the minor infractions now that the major ones were out of the way. She'd not been to mass since coming to Moscow, she'd avoided confession because she was afraid. She was not taking care of her own self, she confided about the thoughts of killing herself on occasions. Confided in the anger and jealously of her past sins. Drinking alcohol. Among many others.
And when she was finally done. "I am sorry for these and all the sins of my past life."
The priest had been quiet through all of it, letting Aria speak her sins. She could feel his shock and his concern at her confessions. He could feel his contempt but he quickly replaced it with pity and concern. It was human to feel angry at the loss of life. She also knew that he thought she was crazy. A person who had killed people, who claimed to kill other living things? That was crazy. Aria didn't blame him. But he spoke in a calm, collected way and his voice gave Aria peace of mind and hope, despite the way he felt. It was always difficult when you knew what someone felt and yet they tried to hide it.
The priest gave her penance, prayer, which was to be expected, recite the whole rosary, reflecting upon God's mercy, and ten hail marys, all things that were easy enough to do. But it wasn't all he had given her. He told her to help others, in the same amount that she had caused the pain. That would be a lot considering she'd taken the lives of five people and hurt others in the process. It was going to be a hard thing to complete given her line of work.
The last part he added, was not necessarily penance, he'd told her so, but he suggested she get professional help. God smiled upon her for her confessions, but it would be more to get the help of a professional, to help with the darkness as she'd called it.
At the end Aria recited, " O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended you and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of heaven and the pains of hell. But most of all because I have offended you, my God, who are all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve with the help of your grace, to confess my sins, to do penance and to amend my life. Amen."
It was done, her deeds forgiven. Outside in the sanctuary Aria knelt at the altar and prayed. She was thankful, her soul a little lighter, but her mood was brighter. She started her penance and waited for Lucas to come find her.
Her thoughts in the shower pretty much mimicked the same train.
He looked at her and seemed to smile a bit. "Ok."
He didn't seem to want to say more.
She smiled and grabbed a clean pair of jeans and t-shirt from her drawers and went to the bathroom to change. Not something she'd normally do, but under present company it was probably for the best, she smiled to herself. He always had a strange affect on her, those bright blue eyes of his watching her. She sighed.
She spoke through the door. "If you still want to find Mya afterwards we can. Though I don't think she wants our help."
Aria figured she'd go look for her again later, make sure she was okay. She didn't have any place to go, that Aria was sure of. But beyond that she didn't know anything else about the girl.
Aria finished pulling her t-shirt on and running a brush through her hair before pulling it up into a high ponytail and walked out the door. Her boots were the last thing she pulled on. Aria saw the empty sheath sitting by the door and sighed. She was going to miss that sword. Dude better give it back. But she had to rely on faith he would. Faith he'd call her, and faith he'd give it back as it was left him. She had no idea if the sword would survive the power of a god being used upon it. He seemed to want to study it. Aria shrugged at the thought, whatever. She just wanted it back.
Aria took her coat off the hook and put it on waiting for Lucas to be ready, not that he had much to do, he was still as handsome as ever. She tried not to blush at the thought and pushed it away.
Aria let Lucas lead the way, it was his meeting. They got on the metro. The silence wasn't awkward, but it was there, an eiry strange feeling, a lot had happened to both of them. Aria wanted to ask about her father, what he'd said, what'd they'd done. Why Lucas was feeling guilty. She understood Giordano had affected his demons, one being drinking, and his clean life style blown all because he was friends with her. She sighed and sat back in her chair. She was weaponless for the first time in a very long time. She hadn't even taken her gun with her. She felt uncomfortable without a weapon, almost naked.
As soon as their destination neared Aria knew which church they were going to, it was the same one that they'd gone to Mass at. This was a big step for her, admitting to someone what she'd done. No one knew. Only her and Dane. She was glad he was not anywhere near, glad he'd disappeared to Mexico when threats of being charged with kidnapping and murder surfaced. His name still invoked certain darkness inside, he had created the darkness with a mere glance, the notion that her humanity was not worth the woman's life. That Aria was a monster.
Aria smiled to herself she was a monster in human clothing, she looked at Lucas who was walking in front of her through the turn stiles as they left. He should probably stay far away, but she was drawn to him as much as to Dane, if not more. Lucas cared, really cared what happened to her. He brought light to her life. And that was worth doing this alone.
Lucas started for a side door, to his meeting presumably. She touched his arm before he got to far ahead. "I'm going in there.
She pointed to the sanctuary. "When you are done, that's where I'll be."
Lucas nodded and then smiled at her. He still looked troubled by the way his jaw kept clenching but there was something else in his blue eyes. Encouragement. He touched her arm, looking at her for a moment and then started for the door he'd been heading too. Aria watched him until he was inside. Aria started for the big doors that lead to the sanctuary proper.
Aria stopped at the steps before the Church and stared up at the heights. Aria pushed herself, one step and then another until she was inside. Aria crossed her self before entering the sanctuary and took a seat in the back pew. Well not a seat, she knelt and prayed. She asked God for the strength to do what needed to be done. And thanked him for Lucas and for his gifts.
Minutes, Hours, passed, Aria didn't really know before she took a seat in the confessional booth behind the screen. She closed her eyes and fought back the tears.
Aria crossed herself again starting the words she knew by heart. "In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. My last confession was 5 months, 3 weeks and 5 days ago."
The priest spoke softly and Aria barely heard the words. She was thinking too hard on the things she couldn't forget to say. He asked of her sins and Aria swallowed and took a deep breath. "I just found out that I took the life of a boy I knew when I was a child. It was truly an accident and I did not know what I was doing, but it weighs on my soul none-the-less."
It was an accident, she hadn't know what she was doing.
Aria continued. "Recently I've taken the souls of four innocents. Their deaths weigh more so on me. I do not wish to repeat such again, but it's a constant fight. The darkness is strong. I've also taken countless lives of other of God's creatures - things if I told you you wouldn't believe."
There was so much more to their deaths that she didn't share. Aria hung her head. "I've slept with two outside of marriage. And there are thoughts for another."
Aria added almost absently, "One was a woman."
Aria knew that thinking of Lucas in such a way was against God's will but it couldn't be helped. While she wasn't sorry for it, she would attempt to stay away her desires. It was almost as hard as keeping the darkness at bay.
"I've hurt friends because I could. I wanted to kill my father, and my bosses daughter."
Aria continued with the minor infractions now that the major ones were out of the way. She'd not been to mass since coming to Moscow, she'd avoided confession because she was afraid. She was not taking care of her own self, she confided about the thoughts of killing herself on occasions. Confided in the anger and jealously of her past sins. Drinking alcohol. Among many others.
And when she was finally done. "I am sorry for these and all the sins of my past life."
The priest had been quiet through all of it, letting Aria speak her sins. She could feel his shock and his concern at her confessions. He could feel his contempt but he quickly replaced it with pity and concern. It was human to feel angry at the loss of life. She also knew that he thought she was crazy. A person who had killed people, who claimed to kill other living things? That was crazy. Aria didn't blame him. But he spoke in a calm, collected way and his voice gave Aria peace of mind and hope, despite the way he felt. It was always difficult when you knew what someone felt and yet they tried to hide it.
The priest gave her penance, prayer, which was to be expected, recite the whole rosary, reflecting upon God's mercy, and ten hail marys, all things that were easy enough to do. But it wasn't all he had given her. He told her to help others, in the same amount that she had caused the pain. That would be a lot considering she'd taken the lives of five people and hurt others in the process. It was going to be a hard thing to complete given her line of work.
The last part he added, was not necessarily penance, he'd told her so, but he suggested she get professional help. God smiled upon her for her confessions, but it would be more to get the help of a professional, to help with the darkness as she'd called it.
At the end Aria recited, " O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended you and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of heaven and the pains of hell. But most of all because I have offended you, my God, who are all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve with the help of your grace, to confess my sins, to do penance and to amend my life. Amen."
It was done, her deeds forgiven. Outside in the sanctuary Aria knelt at the altar and prayed. She was thankful, her soul a little lighter, but her mood was brighter. She started her penance and waited for Lucas to come find her.