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Seeking Control
#46
Continued from Nightmares

Calvin awoke from the dream, his thoughts running wild. Dawn Wind was dead - gone forever. The blame creeped up despite the way he had felt in the dream. It had been his fault. The wolf had told him to leave, and if Calvin had, perhaps Dawn Wind would still be alive. Calvin shook his head - Nimeda had been unique, but he was unsure of why the wolves had warned him about her. That made Calvin think of the wolf that had felt like Snow - Calvin thought that might be important.

Thoughts were interrupted by a pain in his chest and Calvin looked down to see a bloody shirt. He pulled his shirt off, wincing as he did. The blood had clotted and stuck his shirt to his body. Removing it reopened the wounds. The three claw marks were easily recognizable. The nightmare had given it to him. As Dawn Wind had told him, the nightmare was real, and if he got hurt in the dream it happened in the real world.

Calvin stood up, using his shirt to keep the blood from making a mess in Jensen's home and headed to the bathroom. He grabbed a towel, and washed the wounds in the shower before wrapping the towel around the wound to stem the bleeding. He put his bloody shirt on over that. He had nothing else and would have to change when he got home.

Calvin found a piece of paper and since Jensen and Giovanni were both asleep, he wrote a note to Jensen:

"Jensen,

Thank you for your hospitality. The lemonade was very good. I had to leave, but at least wanted to say good bye and thank you. I needed to take a towel this morning. I have left some money to replace it. Please feel free to contact me anytime.

Calvin"



Calvin scrawled his contact information at the bottom of the note and left it with some money on the counter before putting on his coat and heading home. He showered and changed when he got home. As he entered his kitchen, he was a bottle of whiskey on his counter.

It called to him as it always did. He could have some reprieve from his grief about Dawn Wind. His emotions swirled again, and Calvin tried to force them away. They didn't go. He kept hearing the words "bad father" "bad son" and "bad friend" in his head. Succumbing to the temptation, he opened the bottle and began to drink.

He was mad at himself for doing it, which only fueled the drinking more. He became more intoxicated and lay down on his couch, feeling guilty, sad, and angry all at once. The memory of turning into a wolf and killing the nightmare with fangs came back and he felt the wolf calling to him.

Calvin broke down until he was interrupted by his wallet buzzing. He picked it up and saw that his reminder to call a counselor had gone off. He stared at the message, knowing he needed help. He couldn't do this alone. Drunk and upset, he dialed the number.

A secretary answered, asking how she could help him, and he responded quickly before the courage disappeared. "I...need to see a counselor...about depression and substance abuse..."

Reply


Messages In This Thread
[No subject] - by Calvin - 09-08-2014, 09:49 AM
[No subject] - by Jensen James - 09-14-2014, 07:59 PM
[No subject] - by Calvin - 09-14-2014, 08:43 PM
[No subject] - by Jensen James - 09-17-2014, 02:56 PM
[No subject] - by Calvin - 09-17-2014, 11:03 PM
[No subject] - by Jensen James - 09-18-2014, 07:40 PM
[No subject] - by Calvin - 09-18-2014, 11:19 PM
[No subject] - by Jensen James - 09-21-2014, 03:59 PM
[No subject] - by Calvin - 09-21-2014, 04:22 PM
[No subject] - by Jensen James - 09-25-2014, 07:43 PM
[No subject] - by Calvin - 09-25-2014, 08:47 PM
[No subject] - by Pyotr Grigory - 09-28-2014, 12:59 PM
[No subject] - by Jensen James - 10-05-2014, 07:58 PM
[No subject] - by Calvin - 10-05-2014, 11:22 PM
[No subject] - by Jensen James - 10-06-2014, 02:55 PM
[No subject] - by Calvin - 10-06-2014, 03:53 PM
[No subject] - by Jensen James - 10-08-2014, 08:00 PM
[No subject] - by Calvin - 10-09-2014, 06:53 AM
[No subject] - by Jensen James - 10-09-2014, 06:01 PM
[No subject] - by Calvin - 10-10-2014, 08:36 AM
[No subject] - by Jensen James - 10-14-2014, 07:49 PM
[No subject] - by Calvin - 10-18-2014, 04:21 AM
[No subject] - by Jensen James - 10-24-2014, 07:00 PM
[No subject] - by Calvin - 10-24-2014, 10:41 PM
[No subject] - by Giovanni Cavelli - 10-29-2014, 09:04 AM
[No subject] - by Jensen James - 10-29-2014, 08:16 PM
[No subject] - by Calvin - 10-29-2014, 10:34 PM
[No subject] - by Giovanni Cavelli - 10-29-2014, 10:45 PM
[No subject] - by Jensen James - 11-02-2014, 08:24 PM
[No subject] - by Calvin - 11-02-2014, 09:03 PM
[No subject] - by Giovanni Cavelli - 11-02-2014, 09:24 PM
[No subject] - by Jensen James - 11-05-2014, 04:20 PM
[No subject] - by Giovanni Cavelli - 11-06-2014, 09:42 AM
[No subject] - by Calvin - 11-06-2014, 05:27 PM
[No subject] - by Jensen James - 11-07-2014, 09:20 PM
[No subject] - by Giovanni Cavelli - 11-08-2014, 11:31 AM
[No subject] - by Calvin - 11-08-2014, 11:52 AM
[No subject] - by Jensen James - 11-09-2014, 09:56 PM
[No subject] - by Calvin - 11-10-2014, 01:31 PM
[No subject] - by Giovanni Cavelli - 11-10-2014, 05:38 PM
[No subject] - by Jensen James - 11-20-2014, 01:01 PM
[No subject] - by Calvin - 11-20-2014, 04:06 PM
[No subject] - by Giovanni Cavelli - 11-20-2014, 10:52 PM
[No subject] - by Jensen James - 12-01-2014, 03:51 PM
[No subject] - by Giovanni Cavelli - 12-03-2014, 02:16 AM
[No subject] - by Calvin - 12-22-2014, 11:58 AM

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