01-12-2015, 04:03 PM
The man frowned at Lucas. "Calvin...hi. I recognize you too, but can't place you either. That probably means that I was hammered and forgot - and probably tried to hurt you or someone with you. If that's the case...I'm sorry. I was a different man then, and did a lot of things that I regret."
The look on his face said that he was ashamed of his behavior.
With the man's words Lucas remembered him. He'd been walking with Aria after mass and he had been outside the bar. Aria had hit him with a snowball. Looking back, he felt bad at having beaten the man. His nose looked to be ok, though, so that was something.
He touched the older man's shoulder. "Look man, we all do things under the influence that we later regret. All of us. Or sometimes we do things to get our drug of choice."
He tried to get the man to look at him.
He felt no shame in revealing this to him here. "I sold my body so that I could score heroin. Mostly to men. All I wanted was the next fix. I was nearly killed once, doing it."
The memory was bitter, but it only strengthened his resolve. He would not go back down that path. He wanted to live. He had a good life. Good friends. Valentin. Sergei. Boris. And Aria.He wasn't sure what he was to her. A support, certainly. She was another reason for him to always be careful. But most of all, he did it for himself. He would not be that person again. That had to be the overriding reason. And then God would help.
"You are here and are seeking help. So don't feel bad at what you were before. All of us have been there."
He smiled at the man. "If you are willing to do the work, I am happy to be your sponsor. You can do this. It WILL be hard. Accept that. Be prepared for that. But you CAN do it, Calvin."
He thought of Aria, of her struggles. "You would not believe the stories of people here. And how beautiful it is when they begin to get control of it."
He looked around, seeing the faces of men and women who had all come together and shared their daily struggle. "Honestly, that is part of the reason I come here. I am encouraged every time."
His voice became earnest. "You can do this. IF you want to. If you are willing to do the work."
The look on his face said that he was ashamed of his behavior.
With the man's words Lucas remembered him. He'd been walking with Aria after mass and he had been outside the bar. Aria had hit him with a snowball. Looking back, he felt bad at having beaten the man. His nose looked to be ok, though, so that was something.
He touched the older man's shoulder. "Look man, we all do things under the influence that we later regret. All of us. Or sometimes we do things to get our drug of choice."
He tried to get the man to look at him.
He felt no shame in revealing this to him here. "I sold my body so that I could score heroin. Mostly to men. All I wanted was the next fix. I was nearly killed once, doing it."
The memory was bitter, but it only strengthened his resolve. He would not go back down that path. He wanted to live. He had a good life. Good friends. Valentin. Sergei. Boris. And Aria.He wasn't sure what he was to her. A support, certainly. She was another reason for him to always be careful. But most of all, he did it for himself. He would not be that person again. That had to be the overriding reason. And then God would help.
"You are here and are seeking help. So don't feel bad at what you were before. All of us have been there."
He smiled at the man. "If you are willing to do the work, I am happy to be your sponsor. You can do this. It WILL be hard. Accept that. Be prepared for that. But you CAN do it, Calvin."
He thought of Aria, of her struggles. "You would not believe the stories of people here. And how beautiful it is when they begin to get control of it."
He looked around, seeing the faces of men and women who had all come together and shared their daily struggle. "Honestly, that is part of the reason I come here. I am encouraged every time."
His voice became earnest. "You can do this. IF you want to. If you are willing to do the work."