01-01-2018, 08:28 PM
He was frustrated. Not at her. At himself. The roots are deep. They permeate his mind and heart, wind and travel through every vein, every muscle, pulsing, feeding and corrupting. And he cannot see any of them until her words uncover it, lay it bare to the light.
The silence lingers, as he thinks on her words. Because they go to the core. "What is it you really want in life?"
He stares at her. To answer is to confess his sin again. "I only ever thought of being a hero. The slayer of the dragon. For my name to live on as the one who brought freedom. It was my prophesied destiny.
And he sees the point and is ashamed to say it. "I did not consider protecting my people from the fallout of my actions. I did not care that the Atharim scattered and burned to the ground. I did not think on the other gods or the chaos that would ensue in the power vacuum of his death. I claimed to protect, but I only wanted glory."
The greatest shame of all. "I was a boy, rash and arrogant, acting without thinking of the consequences. I was not a leader. Not a savior. I was not a true Atharim."
Somehow, she knew. In the bowels of the earth, this girl had learned sacrifice. Not dramatic sacrifices born of hatred and fear. Even difficult ones. But the sacrifice that came of responsibility.
In his mind, he saw her rage at Illarion, chuckled as he saw her slash at him. Rage and fire and love and tenderness. There was a balance to be found, here.
He shook his head and smiled at her. "I understand why you named me awakened so quickly. To know ones sin is only the first step. The easiest, in fact. Because it is the rooting out of that sin that takes the life time of struggle. I will fall, many times. But I vow I will never stop trying."
So....to her question. One he never considered before. "I have never looked to the future, beyond my immediate goal. I was a weapon with no life beyond my purpose. I have forged the Atharim to be only that. But you are right. It is not enough to kill the danger. Until that danger is gone, we must protect and shield them. We must consider the future of the world we intend to create."
He felt odd. For all his talk about protecting mankind from the gods, he cared little for people's individual lives. They were tools, allys or enemies. Expendable on a whim. Again, he saw Punit's face, heard the snap. And he felt deep shame.
He betrayed what he claimed to believe. He had betrayed the Atharim. His failure very nearly doomed the world.
Did he even want a crown? The roots were still strong. For a moment, he saw the clearing, felt the crown in his hand.
But with the pride now came guilt. Not like this. Not now. Not if he would be what he was meant to be.
He looked at Valeriya again. Anew. Her hair was tangles, her clothing rumpled and formless. And she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
She was a queen. He'd told her that before. His queen. His. Owned. No. She was more than that. Redemption, for a man who had never before sought it.
He held out his hands to her. "You are not MY queen. You are the queen. You will be a queen. The mother of this people. Not as a gift from me. But because it is already who you are. I will rule by your side, to shelter and preserve humanity from the dark."
He suppressed any twinge of pride. He had to rip this thing out of him. It had cost too much.
Edited by Regus, Jan 2 2018, 12:24 PM.
The silence lingers, as he thinks on her words. Because they go to the core. "What is it you really want in life?"
He stares at her. To answer is to confess his sin again. "I only ever thought of being a hero. The slayer of the dragon. For my name to live on as the one who brought freedom. It was my prophesied destiny.
And he sees the point and is ashamed to say it. "I did not consider protecting my people from the fallout of my actions. I did not care that the Atharim scattered and burned to the ground. I did not think on the other gods or the chaos that would ensue in the power vacuum of his death. I claimed to protect, but I only wanted glory."
The greatest shame of all. "I was a boy, rash and arrogant, acting without thinking of the consequences. I was not a leader. Not a savior. I was not a true Atharim."
Somehow, she knew. In the bowels of the earth, this girl had learned sacrifice. Not dramatic sacrifices born of hatred and fear. Even difficult ones. But the sacrifice that came of responsibility.
In his mind, he saw her rage at Illarion, chuckled as he saw her slash at him. Rage and fire and love and tenderness. There was a balance to be found, here.
He shook his head and smiled at her. "I understand why you named me awakened so quickly. To know ones sin is only the first step. The easiest, in fact. Because it is the rooting out of that sin that takes the life time of struggle. I will fall, many times. But I vow I will never stop trying."
So....to her question. One he never considered before. "I have never looked to the future, beyond my immediate goal. I was a weapon with no life beyond my purpose. I have forged the Atharim to be only that. But you are right. It is not enough to kill the danger. Until that danger is gone, we must protect and shield them. We must consider the future of the world we intend to create."
He felt odd. For all his talk about protecting mankind from the gods, he cared little for people's individual lives. They were tools, allys or enemies. Expendable on a whim. Again, he saw Punit's face, heard the snap. And he felt deep shame.
He betrayed what he claimed to believe. He had betrayed the Atharim. His failure very nearly doomed the world.
Did he even want a crown? The roots were still strong. For a moment, he saw the clearing, felt the crown in his hand.
But with the pride now came guilt. Not like this. Not now. Not if he would be what he was meant to be.
He looked at Valeriya again. Anew. Her hair was tangles, her clothing rumpled and formless. And she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
She was a queen. He'd told her that before. His queen. His. Owned. No. She was more than that. Redemption, for a man who had never before sought it.
He held out his hands to her. "You are not MY queen. You are the queen. You will be a queen. The mother of this people. Not as a gift from me. But because it is already who you are. I will rule by your side, to shelter and preserve humanity from the dark."
He suppressed any twinge of pride. He had to rip this thing out of him. It had cost too much.
Edited by Regus, Jan 2 2018, 12:24 PM.