07-12-2014, 05:06 PM
"Do you think...I should tell her about this?"
Connor's heart sank. He hated it when I had to say something he didn't want to. But Calvin wanted the truth. And he was a man, like him. You don't tell other men what to do. Every man had to make his own choices. He had to show the man the respect he deserved. Bu at the same time...Connor thought for a moment, figuring out how to do it.
"You know, when I got divorced, it devastated me. I had been part of a couple. Not happy, definitely. But your mind gets used to it. This is your life. You become somewhat psychologically dependent on the other person. You know what to depend on them for."
He paused, thinking. "When Jamie left, I had to rebuild myself. Had to redefine who I was now, as a single person, as a single dad. I had to rebuild my damaged psyche. I'm not sure how well I did. For years I have kept women at arms length. Honestly, it hasn't been til Ayden that I was finally able to let someone in again, to trust."
He was rambling again. "Anyway, a year later, I went out on my first date. By the end of it I was shaking. It was just too soon for me. For me, you understand. It was all new and I hadn't yet gone through it all."
He looked at Calvin. "I can't tell you what to do. I wouldn't. You're a man and I respect you. So you have to make your own decisions. All I will say is that you need to make sure that you are ready, that you've gotten through your stuff. You seem like an honorable guy. I know you don't want a rebound or to use someone. So I know you'll be careful. Those holes will never go away, so I'm not saying wait till they do. You'll be waiting forever. But make sure that you have come to terms with those holes, have made your peace with them. That you've said goodbye."
He remembered Hayden. "You know my son Hayden was in an accident and that's why his mom and I were there for his getting sick."
He wasn't going to go into details. The man didn't need to know. "He could have died without us there, as your son did. But that doesn't mean that I loved him any less. Or that I didn't have a chance to say goodbye. Truth is, the goodbye stuff? That's all for us. If our loved ones are alive somewhere they already know we love them. And if not, well...they don't know anything. Either way, the goodbye is our knowing that they knew how much they were loved when they died."
He looked Calvin in the eye. "I have no doubt that Mary and Benji knew that you loved them. So you can rest easy on that bud. They knew."
After a moment, he went on. "So just make sure that you have made peace with things before you get involved with someone else. At least, that's what I'd tell you if I was telling you what to do."
He smiled at Calvin, shrugging and feeling like he was overstepping. "I'm sorry. Guess I'm in an advice giving mood. Sorry. No disrespect."
<small>[[continued in Best of You]]
</small>
Edited by Connor Kent, Aug 27 2014, 03:54 PM.
Connor's heart sank. He hated it when I had to say something he didn't want to. But Calvin wanted the truth. And he was a man, like him. You don't tell other men what to do. Every man had to make his own choices. He had to show the man the respect he deserved. Bu at the same time...Connor thought for a moment, figuring out how to do it.
"You know, when I got divorced, it devastated me. I had been part of a couple. Not happy, definitely. But your mind gets used to it. This is your life. You become somewhat psychologically dependent on the other person. You know what to depend on them for."
He paused, thinking. "When Jamie left, I had to rebuild myself. Had to redefine who I was now, as a single person, as a single dad. I had to rebuild my damaged psyche. I'm not sure how well I did. For years I have kept women at arms length. Honestly, it hasn't been til Ayden that I was finally able to let someone in again, to trust."
He was rambling again. "Anyway, a year later, I went out on my first date. By the end of it I was shaking. It was just too soon for me. For me, you understand. It was all new and I hadn't yet gone through it all."
He looked at Calvin. "I can't tell you what to do. I wouldn't. You're a man and I respect you. So you have to make your own decisions. All I will say is that you need to make sure that you are ready, that you've gotten through your stuff. You seem like an honorable guy. I know you don't want a rebound or to use someone. So I know you'll be careful. Those holes will never go away, so I'm not saying wait till they do. You'll be waiting forever. But make sure that you have come to terms with those holes, have made your peace with them. That you've said goodbye."
He remembered Hayden. "You know my son Hayden was in an accident and that's why his mom and I were there for his getting sick."
He wasn't going to go into details. The man didn't need to know. "He could have died without us there, as your son did. But that doesn't mean that I loved him any less. Or that I didn't have a chance to say goodbye. Truth is, the goodbye stuff? That's all for us. If our loved ones are alive somewhere they already know we love them. And if not, well...they don't know anything. Either way, the goodbye is our knowing that they knew how much they were loved when they died."
He looked Calvin in the eye. "I have no doubt that Mary and Benji knew that you loved them. So you can rest easy on that bud. They knew."
After a moment, he went on. "So just make sure that you have made peace with things before you get involved with someone else. At least, that's what I'd tell you if I was telling you what to do."
He smiled at Calvin, shrugging and feeling like he was overstepping. "I'm sorry. Guess I'm in an advice giving mood. Sorry. No disrespect."
<small>[[continued in Best of You]]
</small>
Edited by Connor Kent, Aug 27 2014, 03:54 PM.