07-11-2014, 06:39 PM
What Connor said made a lot of sense. In many ways he was unsure of why these ideas didn't come to him so easily, but grief and despair have a way of blinding people to the obvious. Put the information right in front of someone feeling those emotions and they are not likely to notice unless they are ready to notice. Calvin felt ready - actually - he didn't have a choice. He had to do this for himself.
He envied Connor in some ways. He got a chance to say goodbye while his son was still alive. Calvin had said goodbye while holding his son's lifeless body in his hands. If the price I had to pay to let him know that I loved him was this gaping hole in my heart, I'd do it a million times over. The words rang true with Calvin. He wished he had at least a few moments to really say goodbye.
Calvin looked down, deep in thought as he sipped his water. His thoughts drifted to Sierra. Guilt stabbed in his chest again, but he brought it to bear by taking another drink of his water. Mary would want him to move on. Calvin had enjoyed spending time with her and he still considered their hunt to be the happiest day he had since the passing on his family. He shouldn't feel guilty about liking her. He wasn't trying to replace those he had lost - he couldn't do that. Mary and Benji would always hold a special place to him, but neither could he use Sierra to heal his pain. He would have to tell her, but could he?
Calvin pulled out the business card that Sierra had given him and gave it a look, contemplating his next move. He had her number right there, all he had to do was call and ask her to dinner. That should be easy enough right?
"I think...I want to call her."
Calvin said looking up at Connor once more. "I like spending time with her and we have a lot in common. Do you think...I should tell her about this?"
Calvin took another sip of water. He didn't want to use her. That wouldn't be fair to her. Calvin wasn't even sure he remembered how to do the whole dating game. It had been a long time since he had gone on any dates, and that teenage fear of getting turned down began to fill his gut again. One thing was certain, he was happy when he was with her. Was it worth a shot?
He envied Connor in some ways. He got a chance to say goodbye while his son was still alive. Calvin had said goodbye while holding his son's lifeless body in his hands. If the price I had to pay to let him know that I loved him was this gaping hole in my heart, I'd do it a million times over. The words rang true with Calvin. He wished he had at least a few moments to really say goodbye.
Calvin looked down, deep in thought as he sipped his water. His thoughts drifted to Sierra. Guilt stabbed in his chest again, but he brought it to bear by taking another drink of his water. Mary would want him to move on. Calvin had enjoyed spending time with her and he still considered their hunt to be the happiest day he had since the passing on his family. He shouldn't feel guilty about liking her. He wasn't trying to replace those he had lost - he couldn't do that. Mary and Benji would always hold a special place to him, but neither could he use Sierra to heal his pain. He would have to tell her, but could he?
Calvin pulled out the business card that Sierra had given him and gave it a look, contemplating his next move. He had her number right there, all he had to do was call and ask her to dinner. That should be easy enough right?
"I think...I want to call her."
Calvin said looking up at Connor once more. "I like spending time with her and we have a lot in common. Do you think...I should tell her about this?"
Calvin took another sip of water. He didn't want to use her. That wouldn't be fair to her. Calvin wasn't even sure he remembered how to do the whole dating game. It had been a long time since he had gone on any dates, and that teenage fear of getting turned down began to fill his gut again. One thing was certain, he was happy when he was with her. Was it worth a shot?