I've been sick

[Nox]

Nox laughed at Cain's comment. He smiled at his friend who had a way with words. "You have no fucking idea."


Nox tensed the moment Emily approached him. He flinched when she wrapped her arms around him. She smelled like he remembered and Nox fought the urge to say something smart to her. She was a good memory - he liked that memory. Siberia had been good to him. When little sister hugged him as well Nox was a little shocked and stared rather openly when both women sat back down with Cruz. Nox grinned. "Maybe you are right Cain. My sob story for money. I can see the headline now. 'Autobiography released - man gunned down for being Atharim'. Too bad I don't have kids to send the royalties too."


Nox knew why the girls had hugged him. The same reason he'd felt bad for them only moments before. His dry humor only a cover for the loss inside. Cain was 100% right that he was messed up. Nox wasn't even sure he knew how much damage had been done. He was still learning that stuff.

But Cain's change of subject was the perfect distraction that Nox needed. Cruz had been having issues with creating a simple glob of light. Nox sat down on the floor and pulled his legs in underneath him sitting cross-legged - he felt very yogi in this position. Meditative sometimes worked other times it was a hindrance. But he could channel his energy into his breathing like this. The whole idea of protecting Cruz from other Atharim and his own reasons for doing so still weighed heavily on his heart.

Nox took a deep breath and started again. "Our gift needs to be forced. It's an unruly child. It's the stubborn hair on your head that won't lay down. It's willful, and defiant and you must control it. It will burn you up."
Nox looked up at Cain. "So will drawing upon the power beyond your capability. If you feel it searing into your skin you are holding too much. I know it's a powerful draw. You want to take as much as you can - it's like a drug."
Nox knew the intoxicating pull of the power. He and his sister had experimented - not to the point of hurt themselves, but there were times that they had drawn too much it hurt to even breathe. That was your cue to let it go immediately. "Force the pattern, each thread will obey you. You just need to make it."
Nox wove slowly at first and the ball of light leapt into his hand. He pulled a second different weave and did it faster, the first winking out only when the second was complete. Nox continued to hold a weave and create a weave until he was creating a ball of light as quickly as he could. Nox practiced his own short comings while he taught. It only made sense. Speed and accuracy were important as was being able to do more complicated weaves at one time. But that was later. And to his surprise it was happening much faster than he had done prior. He was getting stronger and more skilled. He wanted to learn more - needed to learn more. But finding a teacher was hard - particularly when you'd see the strongest known god use his gift right in front of you. Nothing else compared.

Cruz drew upon the power and Nox could feel it. He nodded as the boy started weaving his ball of light. Nox could see the frustration in his eyes, but he kept at it until there was a small wavering light in front of him. Cruz smiled bright eyes. "Wow, that was hard."

"Let it go and do it again. Practice is key."


Nox looked back up at Cain. "Knowing a weave and using it are two different things. You pick things up quickly. But can you do it in the heat of a battle? Can you do it when your life is at stake? Or those who rely on you?"
Nox turned to Emily with a smile. "Sometimes speed is your only advantage. Your blocks only get in the way. Remove them. Practice everyday if you can. Our enemies do."