Homeward Bound

[Jay Carpenter]

 

Jai & Andreu

"You really don't recognize me?"
  There was genuine surprise in the question.  But no accusation despite the sword directed at his heart.  "Ah well.  It's the beard I guess.  I hardly recognized you at first either,"
his smirk wasn't worried.  "I'm glad to see you alive, kid.  And looking properly overworked and scary,"
he barked a laugh, "I wasn't expecting a fist fight though.  Missing a sword huh?  At least shouldn't you be channeling or something.  Unless the last decade was a really bad joke?"
  The man shot Araya a humored glance like he might be in on it. 

Jai was absolutely dumbfounded.  The comment about his sword stung; but it was a scratch beside deeper wounds.  His heart wasn't pounding but he couldn't move either.  Couldn't see.  Recognition scuttled in the darkness; and Jai's lips parted to speak a name, but his throat crisped to ashes.  Nothing about this man on the ground was the aristocrat he once was.  His hair was tangled with dirt and his temples shone with palpable sweat.  Lines dug into the flesh around his eyes: crevices of age deepened by fatigue not pensive thoughts of a cultured man.  They were tired of seeing the cares in the world those around him ignored, but determination gave him patience to tend them anyway.  The same good humored patience to wait for the aura cloaking his captor to release him. 

Jai slowly removed the sword from the man's chest who rubbed the spot where it had pressed and forced himself to laugh.  Then he labored to sit up, but it was pained movements.  He was hurting; Jai hadn't held back.

Jai took a step away.  He needed the space to breathe as much as the man needed space to rise.  Beneath the bad clothes, under the beard and behind the shadows of stress Jai knew he knew: he just wasn't sure if he should laugh with joy or go hang himself.  Instead, he found himself doing neither.  He chucked the sword away and slowly approached, half afraid it was all an illusion and stood there trying to decide if it was real or not.  Then from a step away, he suddenly pulled his brother into a tight hug.

When their shadows parted, Jai took a step back, straightened out his already straight coat and sent his arms to cross over it not sure what to do now.  A dark alley with three bodies, two asha'man and a madman.  Sounds about right.  "What are you doing down here?  Who were those guys? And why did you bloody attack us?"
  Then it dawned on him, as though this new epiphany were the stranger turn of events: "Wait, you were counting cards?"


Andreu shrugged.  What terrors haunted the imagination that drove his sense of insecurity were bloody and distinct from those following Jai.  Jai, who would devote every heartbeat to discovering the conspiracy that led him to be followed, to this man, an inert body was hardly a threat now.  The three men, Jai continually checked were largely unmoving.  So a few minutes of peace remained to them.  And he was plenty relieved when one started to shuffle about.  If the other two were also alive their bindings should hold for a while yet; and the gags would stifle enough noise to keep the nearest patrol from responding.  Andreu shrugged dismissively,
"Yeah.  Well I'm working.  You were just cheating.  And as for the jump, let's just say I like to be careful when i'm working"


Cheating?  Jai looked mocked. 

"Careful?  Right."
  Knowing this guy, that wasn't an exaggeration.  He watched the man smear the hair out of his face and tie the longest of it from his eyes.  Pulled back seemed to strip him of some years but the crowmarks remained.  Jai barely recognized him.  "We could have killed you,"
he added quietly.  Honestly. 

Dru glanced at the sword depressed in the snow a moment, then back to Jai, nodding slowly.  But he knew the blade wasn't the true threat.  It didn't censure his blunt reaction though. 
"I know.  You'll be at the Last Battle then?" 


Jai stared, awkward and quiet.  Enough snow had collected on his shoulders to no longer melt the moment it landed there.  White dots froze against his chest.

Eventually, a slow nod as Andreu thrust cold his hands in his pockets.  Jai thought about the warmth within the fibers of the new coat; men frequently said they grew cold as death grew closer.  Though, in his own dance, it had been an insensate chill; numbness creeping up as paralysis sank in.  Something the blankets of this world could not comfort. 

Until then, the rich wool was a precautionary comfort, a symbol of a small way a man might face the unavoidable on his own terms.  But despite the sentiment, there was no undoing how thoughtlessly Andreu experienced his baby brother's retaliation.  Things would never be quite the same;  and Jai's only salvation was not having channeled to do it, but eventually he'd slip and it'd happen.  He'd prove first hand what he was capable of accomplishing without hiding the dark smile on his face while he did it.  Yet another reason to walk away.  It was something that had to be done; because he couldn't juggle like Araya.  Jai needed separation: he needed to find that distant field, get up every day, and serve something greater than himself.  Half the time he wondered if he should just shove himself into a closet and stay there until the walls were inked with black: a script so thick their author would not be able to decipher the madness penned there. 

Until then, Jai had no interest in killing anyone he wasn't ordered to strike.  But disproportionate brutality was hardly the conduct of gentlemen, even in an ambush.  He was aware of what he was, but there was still hope his family would be spared from finding out.  The plague of war already wasted his soul of their family's old honor, there was little reason to let them watch the rest of his humanity drip away.  When Jai didn't elaborate, Dru waved away the tension as if the cold realities of the world were his to summon or banish at command. 

Dripping.  Light.  He steeled himself, wondering when that memory would stop making him want to want to collapse.  Then suddenly, Araya.  Jai remembered the other man's presence.  But he had no idea how where to begin.  Except with the obvious: introduce them. 

"Dru, this is Asha'man Araya- uh-"
  The introduction was cut short, as he was unsure if Araya had a last name.  Jai gestured between the two men anyway.  The snow was falling straight again and when he squeezed the back of a knotted neck, he finally appreciated every flake wetting his hair.  It was melting under his collar, but he ignored it for now; it was kind of too beautiful to wish it would stop.  But Andreu was probably the best version of himself he could hope to be, the only embarrassment was his own hasty reaction.  The man was definitely struggling, but he still had his little brother's respect.  Probably because Jai understood what it was like to be tormented.  If Araya could see through the insanity, hopefully he'd think the same way.

Andreu looked Araya over like he memorized everything about him, but that didn't stop him offering a friendly handshake if a cold palm from dusting snow from his clothes.  An apologetic grin was stretched across his face. 
"I am sorry about the arm.  I really don't like to be followed.  You understand?"
  Forgiveness assumed, he quickly retreated a few steps.  Whatever his comfort around Jai, something about Araya unnerved him, like he wasn't quite sure if he should trust him or not.  The hesitation was probably justified.  He had outright ambushed a pair of Asha'man.  Not exactly the safest of moves. 

While Dru's attention was occupied, Jai, arms crossed, watched carefully.  He could practically feel Araya's opinion of him tanking.  Which was understandable.  He wasn't exactly catching Jai at his gleaming best the last few days.  And his brother's antics weren't helping.  Whatever Dru was involved in, he was apparently getting along fine but they were still worrisome.  He'd attacked his own brother just because he didn't like to be followed.  That, Jai understood.  But Light, his paranoia was worse than ever.  The madman didn't trust boiling water, after all.  Though it was hard to blame him.  Boiling water need not be poisoned to send a man to his knees as soundly as any sword. 

"Araya, this madman,"
Jai glanced, half joking and half aware he were introducing himself, "is my brother, Andreu.  That I haven't seen in eleven years."
  He knew the same level of crazy shot through his veins as it did Dru's.  As it did Zak's.  And as it did their poor mother.  Although surprisingly, the sanest of them was likely the one who coped by turning to steel in the morning and the bottle at night.  Or used to.  One was gone.  The other, probably not wise to seek out again for a while.  Like saidin, he knew when his limit was reached. 

Andreu retrieved his hat and paused from pounding it back to shape only to tip it Araya's direction.  Then grinned as though the hat reminded him of something, and he sloughed off through the snow to check on the men he'd captured. 

Jai glanced at Araya, ignoring a touch of worry.  Whatever it was that was going on, he had the urge to leave it behind.  Explaining their way out of this one wouldn't be too easy. 
"Why were they after you?"
  He followed, watching with crossed arms as Dru nudged each body with his boot until he found one awake.  Then he wrenched one up by the collar and shoved him against the wall. 

A grunt, and Dru hauled a second, half-conscious thug into a seated position.  But this one slumped against his companion not quite awake. 
"Na.  They weren't after me.  I was after them."
  He started checking pockets, and went on before Jai pressed the issue.  "Suppose I won't ask what you're doing down here after all this time.  But have you seen them yet?"
  Andreu frowned and stood up, hands on his sides considering what he should do next.  Whatever he was seeking, it obviously wasn't on these fellows' person.

They flashed through his mind before Jai could suppress the images.  "Yeah.  It went great.  Dad said you've been out of town the last month.  Mom cried when she first saw me and an hour later I'm pretty sure she had no idea who I was.  Mikel bloody went off and married Jaslene.  And if that doesn't make a guy want to stab himself in the throat, Zakar tried to have me shot in my own bedroom."
  The curly-haired tike tugging on his coat, guards foolishly aiming him up, his loyalty called to question, the inheritance he never should have touched, Caemlyn and Ellis.  Murder.  Dishonor.  He pictured himself kneeling.  Then shock.  Complete shock.  Yeah.  The last few weeks were great.

But Ellis was gone, his family's honor remained, Tashir was avenged, and a good family might find some peace.  Jai would never really know for sure, but it was enough to imagine the pain leaving her eyes, that for the briefest of moments she might know peace, if that was all he bought, he'd pay the price again. 

Behind blowing warm breath across his fingers, Andreu was laughing his ass off.  For some insane reason, his laughing sounded less like desperation and more like facing reality.  Jai relaxed a little. 
"Yeah.  That sounds about right.  What happened with Zak, though?  I was 'out of town' because he likes to keep tabs on everyone-" 

Dru adjusted the hat and left it slightly skewed on his head.  His coat looked trampled.  A string of hair was sticking out behind one ear.  Compared to the rigidity of Jai's uniform, the tight collar, the straight shoulders, the taper of the coat, the shined boots, and the man who filled it out, Dru looked downright homeless.  No wonder Zakar would worry about Andreu, the guy looked like a wreck. 
"-And-"
repeating himself for Araya's benefit, "-I don't like to be followed."


Dru returned in jovial spirits, clapped Jai on the shoulder and turned him about with such familiarity Jai wondered what his brother would do if truly believed someone was a threat.  Let alone two asha'man.  He had held back, right?  If so, it was a fool's confidence.  Their instincts for immediate action usually outranked the hesitation to consider brotherly bonds.  But Andreu was the main act of his own traveling show.  The man who stood center ring with nothing to rely on but a whip and the constriction of barely-trained beasts from slaying him any moment.  And he did it all with a grin on his face.  For that, Jai loved him.  And Light, it was good to see him.