03-06-2026, 11:48 AM
Tatyana didn’t sleep long, but when she woke up she was already crying. The withdrawal symptoms still felt muted and eager as if they were waiting for a fence to open before they started stampede. The emotions were still there though: loss, pain, grief, loneliness, guilt, anger, and anxiety were all there. They all swirled together.
Tears began to form into sobs, and Tatyana kept them quiet. She didn’t want to wake the girls next to her. She softly got out of the bed and opened the door. There were people here, but there was a bathroom nearby. Tatyana went in, trying to hide her face from all the people in the room. She didn’t lock the door. That didn’t matter. She went into the shower and sat on the floor, huddling herself into the corner and pulling her knees to her chest.
She let the sobs out then and her body began to shake with them. Her thoughts shifted quickly from one to the next: her father training her, news of his death, Sophia’s machinations, Grisha and his pills, Konstantine throwing her out, the streets, Zeke, Ashton, Hayden, Nox, Maddison and McKenzie. All of it swirled together in a confusing pattern. Soon enough she didn’t even know what she was feeling anymore. It was all a jumble, but the sobs didn’t ease it. Tatyana thought that was what crying was for, but it didn’t work. The sobs didn’t diminish as she realized even she all the emotions, she never felt so empty.
Tears began to form into sobs, and Tatyana kept them quiet. She didn’t want to wake the girls next to her. She softly got out of the bed and opened the door. There were people here, but there was a bathroom nearby. Tatyana went in, trying to hide her face from all the people in the room. She didn’t lock the door. That didn’t matter. She went into the shower and sat on the floor, huddling herself into the corner and pulling her knees to her chest.
She let the sobs out then and her body began to shake with them. Her thoughts shifted quickly from one to the next: her father training her, news of his death, Sophia’s machinations, Grisha and his pills, Konstantine throwing her out, the streets, Zeke, Ashton, Hayden, Nox, Maddison and McKenzie. All of it swirled together in a confusing pattern. Soon enough she didn’t even know what she was feeling anymore. It was all a jumble, but the sobs didn’t ease it. Tatyana thought that was what crying was for, but it didn’t work. The sobs didn’t diminish as she realized even she all the emotions, she never felt so empty.