Hayden came and sat down next to her. Marta wasn't sure where to start until she looked down at Lily. "Nox handed her to me. She's the most precious thing in his life and he gave her to me. He trusted me. Hayden - she's - the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Then something happened..." Marta stopped and collected herself.
She turned and looked at Hayden. "Do you know why I have panic attacks - why I really have panic attacks,
"If I had to guess it's a lot to do with your past, but honestly there is no way to know."
Marta smiled at him. "That's what my psychologist thinks too," she said. She shook her head. "No, my panic attacks are a symptom of the wolf trying to take over. They are me fighting back. That's why Splash is important. Splash reminds me who...what...I am."
She looked up at Hayden, her eyes filling with tears - not of sadness, but of relief. "There were two times today when I should have panicked - and nothing. Hayden - for the first time since I changed, the wolf is still."
Marta had one more thing to do, and it scared her. She handed Lily to Hayden, tentatively, worried that by not touching Lily the wolf would come back, and as the baby left her hands, she released the breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. The wolf was still. It was there - it always would be, but she had control. "I"ve never felt so in control of myself than I do right now."
[[with Hayden]]
She turned and looked at Hayden. "Do you know why I have panic attacks - why I really have panic attacks,
"If I had to guess it's a lot to do with your past, but honestly there is no way to know."
Marta smiled at him. "That's what my psychologist thinks too," she said. She shook her head. "No, my panic attacks are a symptom of the wolf trying to take over. They are me fighting back. That's why Splash is important. Splash reminds me who...what...I am."
She looked up at Hayden, her eyes filling with tears - not of sadness, but of relief. "There were two times today when I should have panicked - and nothing. Hayden - for the first time since I changed, the wolf is still."
Marta had one more thing to do, and it scared her. She handed Lily to Hayden, tentatively, worried that by not touching Lily the wolf would come back, and as the baby left her hands, she released the breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. The wolf was still. It was there - it always would be, but she had control. "I"ve never felt so in control of myself than I do right now."
[[with Hayden]]