02-26-2025, 04:54 PM
Elyse looked up as she felt Hayden’s hand on her head. The tears subsided a bit. Hayden wasn’t supposed to be here. He was supposed to be with Nox. Nox needed him more. His question was simple, but the answer wasn’t.
”I said something to Ashton. We were helping him with something and…I questioned it. The moral implications of it. Something I wouldn’t have thought about before. It upset him and then…things just started coming to me. Things I’ve done…” Elyse paused. ”You said once you don’t do monsters. Well I don’t do people. I’ve assisted in the hunting of people before. I’ve seen them executed because of what they are. I never questioned it until it was personal.”
Elyse wiped away tears. ”Its stupid. I shouldn’t be reacting like this. I don’t even know why the situation hit me so hard, but then other thoughts started coming too. Ashton has every reason to be mad at the world, but he isn’t. All of those kids do. I don’t. I have no reason to feel the way I do. But I still do. And I’m dragging them - with their real problems into mine. And all I can think is if I wasn’t here…” she stopped for a long moment. Anna took her hands. ”Everyone would be better off. You shouldn’t be here. You should be with Nox because he needs you. Instead you’re here, dealing with my shit. It’s a cycle. Everytime I get better then it comes back even harder. I don’t want to end it, Hayden, I really don’t. I’m so scared and confused. I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore. I’m sorry…I’m so sorry.”
”I said something to Ashton. We were helping him with something and…I questioned it. The moral implications of it. Something I wouldn’t have thought about before. It upset him and then…things just started coming to me. Things I’ve done…” Elyse paused. ”You said once you don’t do monsters. Well I don’t do people. I’ve assisted in the hunting of people before. I’ve seen them executed because of what they are. I never questioned it until it was personal.”
Elyse wiped away tears. ”Its stupid. I shouldn’t be reacting like this. I don’t even know why the situation hit me so hard, but then other thoughts started coming too. Ashton has every reason to be mad at the world, but he isn’t. All of those kids do. I don’t. I have no reason to feel the way I do. But I still do. And I’m dragging them - with their real problems into mine. And all I can think is if I wasn’t here…” she stopped for a long moment. Anna took her hands. ”Everyone would be better off. You shouldn’t be here. You should be with Nox because he needs you. Instead you’re here, dealing with my shit. It’s a cycle. Everytime I get better then it comes back even harder. I don’t want to end it, Hayden, I really don’t. I’m so scared and confused. I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore. I’m sorry…I’m so sorry.”