12-31-2024, 04:49 PM
Esper leaned into the comfort, and was quiet for a time, despite the biting cold. When she finally lifted her head, her eyes were blushed pink with the remnants of her tears. Her pale face was solemn, her lips downturned. This morning Roza gave up her entire life so that they could be together, and Esper did not understand why Ashton would not do the same despite the way they were connected. He would take a chance on the kindness of a man he had fed to monsters, but not on her.
But the emotions in his absence had begun to calm. She felt depleted, like the whole thing had taken something from her, rather than filled her up. It was disconcerting. “I do not like sadness,” she murmured to Roza. But while there was comfort in the other’s closeness, she could feel all the uncertainty swirling inside her too; not regret, just a need to see the shape of the future. “It sounded like the Vegas were expected to take us in,” she said after a moment. So much so that the man with the baby had demanded Ashton contact some other stray with the same invite. “If we go, and they say no, I will not force them. That isn’t a promise. I just do not feel like it now.”
It would taste a little too much like Ashton’s rejection. Forced love was useful, but its necessity would be too much of a sting. And now it would just feel false. A reminder that not everyone loved Esper the way Roza did.
“Or we can go to the church. Zeke won’t ask questions.” She sighed a little, having no real preference of her own.
But the emotions in his absence had begun to calm. She felt depleted, like the whole thing had taken something from her, rather than filled her up. It was disconcerting. “I do not like sadness,” she murmured to Roza. But while there was comfort in the other’s closeness, she could feel all the uncertainty swirling inside her too; not regret, just a need to see the shape of the future. “It sounded like the Vegas were expected to take us in,” she said after a moment. So much so that the man with the baby had demanded Ashton contact some other stray with the same invite. “If we go, and they say no, I will not force them. That isn’t a promise. I just do not feel like it now.”
It would taste a little too much like Ashton’s rejection. Forced love was useful, but its necessity would be too much of a sting. And now it would just feel false. A reminder that not everyone loved Esper the way Roza did.
“Or we can go to the church. Zeke won’t ask questions.” She sighed a little, having no real preference of her own.