12-28-2024, 05:11 PM
Ashton’s emotions changed, and Esper was stung by it. Her hand jerked as though the pain was physical, and her expression sundered into something fractured and vulnerable. His words were like the lash of rain, mostly unfathomable, but the attack of it felt personal. Her eyes made minute movements, like she was processing something, and her breaths came sharp and shallow. Emotion in others was nourishment, and she hungered for all its nuances, but she rarely ever had to battle her own.
And this hurt.
She had offered him something as honestly as she knew how, something she craved herself: home, belonging, acceptance. But he declared her a poor substitute for what he had already found. Was growing angry at her for a reason she couldn’t fathom through all the complex knots of his trauma.
The souls she felt kinship for were as rare as rare, and this morning she had been jubilant at the prospect of finding him. His anger now should have made her own incandescent, but instead it only struck a match against the gasoline of a stunning rejection. She scrubbed the tears from her eyes without knowing why they were falling hot down her cheeks. The sobs were stifled in her chest.
His singing numbed her, promising to take away what she felt if she listened. She took half a step towards him, completely involuntarily, lulled. But she could also feel what he inspired in Roza; something that tightened the other’s embrace. The song itself was lost on Esper. And he was walking away. They could follow, but for what? For her to feel how much Ashton loved another?
“My soul is breaking?” she asked Roza. Her voice choked.
And this hurt.
She had offered him something as honestly as she knew how, something she craved herself: home, belonging, acceptance. But he declared her a poor substitute for what he had already found. Was growing angry at her for a reason she couldn’t fathom through all the complex knots of his trauma.
The souls she felt kinship for were as rare as rare, and this morning she had been jubilant at the prospect of finding him. His anger now should have made her own incandescent, but instead it only struck a match against the gasoline of a stunning rejection. She scrubbed the tears from her eyes without knowing why they were falling hot down her cheeks. The sobs were stifled in her chest.
His singing numbed her, promising to take away what she felt if she listened. She took half a step towards him, completely involuntarily, lulled. But she could also feel what he inspired in Roza; something that tightened the other’s embrace. The song itself was lost on Esper. And he was walking away. They could follow, but for what? For her to feel how much Ashton loved another?
“My soul is breaking?” she asked Roza. Her voice choked.