01-12-2023, 07:40 PM
Daryen’s perspective wasn’t one Jai was able to talk about. The King of Arad Doman was a stranger most of the time, no matter how many naked hours they spent together. The guy pissed Jai off more than he admitted. Then the rest of the time, he tugged and Jai mindlessly followed out of sheer loyalty. He didn’t even understand his own reasons. A flash of blue eyes and whip of golden hair and Jai was ready to kneel with the rest of the country. And spending time on knees wasn’t exactly a foreign concept. But for different reasons. Blood and bloody ashes. He would probably always follow Daryen.
He couldn’t speak to what Daryen intended. Light, he couldn’t speak to Daryen at all except to the constant reassurance to trust him. Jai did. Probably. Yes, definitely. When the orders were called, Jai jumped, aimed and shot off whatever destruction was required. And had for the better part of a decade. But when Daryen played the game of politics and juggled the marionettes of thrones, Jai kept a wide berth. He hated nobles as much as he hated the Towers. Yet here he found himself neck-deep in both. He’d never be able to say what Daryen did or did not intend despite Lythia Sedai’s penetrating desires that he could.
“I can only say what I saw, Aes Sedai,” he said, voice flat as the Erinin.
He was increasingly more uncomfortable. Not that he was comfortable at any time today, and he was aware that Hassalam wandered just out of sight (something about that woman was bloody wrong). Now he thought about it, it gave him the kind of dark creepy vibes of nearby shadowspawn. She was ugly enough to count as one, but he was certain she was human. So what was it? He was probably being paranoid. No surprise. Light.
He understood the urgency. Jai wasn’t so thick-headed as to not get it. When a move was made, the entire game board changed in an instant. This treaty was a hell of a move. They’d all be cornered into check-mate position in another round or two. The treaty signed. The Seanchan gains power and presence. They infiltrate the culture and what was disturbing and distant in years past becomes normal and expected. Their economy was obviously vast. It flooded into a central currency commanded by the far-away Empress, yet their influence trickled through many nations. He’d bet his shirt that the Kojima's bank was already dealing with propositions to accept the foreign exchange of Seanchan assets. To date, the Tar Valon mark was the most powerful coin in the world, but Jai wagered that in a year, the Seanchan mark would outweigh even the Andoran crown.
Time was not on their side. Yet he couldn’t shake the feeling that this felt like betrayal. Daryen repeatedly asked for trust, but he’d shown little in return. It was hard to trust a guy that wined and dined the enemy under his roof.
They are your enemy, he’d pleaded months before. At an oceanside House following the bloodbath of that hunting debacle.
He felt the same plea in his gaze as sure as the light from her gateway shone in his eyes.
“You know he will never speak for himself in that regard. You know he can’t,” Lythia said.
His frown felt like it settled into his bones.
It wasn’t betrayal? It was speaking for him? Lythia might be right. Daryen couldn’t abscond to the White Tower to talk about how the Seanchan were using him. Why even bring Trista into the deal to start with? Other than as leash-candy for the High Lord? What term was demanded that made the Gaidar the cornerstone of a deal that rippled across empires? So many ghosts... It was Jai’s fires that burned damane houses with little girls trapped inside. On Daryen’s orders. On the Dragon’s orders. So many screams. So much terror. He’d rather have slit their throats as they slept. It would have been a cleaner death. Faster. Moments rather than minutes that stretched into mountains of time never ending.
He shivered. Biting back the bile in his throat and the chill still flushing his skin from Lythia’s channeling. He only knew one person in the world who could really have the answers. Yes. She would know what to do.
“If I could talk to Nythadri first,” he frowned, gaze flashing through the portal as she could just appear there. She didn’t. It made his heart sink a little. Even if it was foolishness. Jai never claimed to be anything otherwise.
He stepped away, shaking his head. Lythia would be disappointed. He got it, but he couldn’t do it. He had little left to lose after the last time, but what he had was precious. A bit of sanity, and Nythadri. If he could just talk to her first. See what she said was best. Light, if she said it, he’d walk into the Hall of the Tower and say the Seanchan blackmailed Daryen. He could invent some massive plot to hand-wave his reasons. He’d lie through his teeth if Nythadri said it the reason was for the best. Light knew he’d murdered enough people for the greater good. His soul was already stained. What was one more blot?
He shook his head.
“No. This isn’t right. I’m going to go, Lythia Sedai,” he said. He was sorry in a way. But that crowd was full of people. Any of them could speak to the proceedings from the ceremony. He couldn’t do it like this. he almost felt his hand brush the place at his hip where Asad’s sword once occupied. A lesson learned. With a decided nod, he turned. Only to encounter the sudden presence of a hideous face holding a devilish smile. He was startled. But only for a moment. Then he just blinked.
Over the effect of the gateway, he didn’t even feel the chill when Hassalam channeled. And after a moment, all the reasons seemed to just…
…disappear.
He couldn’t speak to what Daryen intended. Light, he couldn’t speak to Daryen at all except to the constant reassurance to trust him. Jai did. Probably. Yes, definitely. When the orders were called, Jai jumped, aimed and shot off whatever destruction was required. And had for the better part of a decade. But when Daryen played the game of politics and juggled the marionettes of thrones, Jai kept a wide berth. He hated nobles as much as he hated the Towers. Yet here he found himself neck-deep in both. He’d never be able to say what Daryen did or did not intend despite Lythia Sedai’s penetrating desires that he could.
“I can only say what I saw, Aes Sedai,” he said, voice flat as the Erinin.
He was increasingly more uncomfortable. Not that he was comfortable at any time today, and he was aware that Hassalam wandered just out of sight (something about that woman was bloody wrong). Now he thought about it, it gave him the kind of dark creepy vibes of nearby shadowspawn. She was ugly enough to count as one, but he was certain she was human. So what was it? He was probably being paranoid. No surprise. Light.
He understood the urgency. Jai wasn’t so thick-headed as to not get it. When a move was made, the entire game board changed in an instant. This treaty was a hell of a move. They’d all be cornered into check-mate position in another round or two. The treaty signed. The Seanchan gains power and presence. They infiltrate the culture and what was disturbing and distant in years past becomes normal and expected. Their economy was obviously vast. It flooded into a central currency commanded by the far-away Empress, yet their influence trickled through many nations. He’d bet his shirt that the Kojima's bank was already dealing with propositions to accept the foreign exchange of Seanchan assets. To date, the Tar Valon mark was the most powerful coin in the world, but Jai wagered that in a year, the Seanchan mark would outweigh even the Andoran crown.
Time was not on their side. Yet he couldn’t shake the feeling that this felt like betrayal. Daryen repeatedly asked for trust, but he’d shown little in return. It was hard to trust a guy that wined and dined the enemy under his roof.
They are your enemy, he’d pleaded months before. At an oceanside House following the bloodbath of that hunting debacle.
He felt the same plea in his gaze as sure as the light from her gateway shone in his eyes.
“You know he will never speak for himself in that regard. You know he can’t,” Lythia said.
His frown felt like it settled into his bones.
It wasn’t betrayal? It was speaking for him? Lythia might be right. Daryen couldn’t abscond to the White Tower to talk about how the Seanchan were using him. Why even bring Trista into the deal to start with? Other than as leash-candy for the High Lord? What term was demanded that made the Gaidar the cornerstone of a deal that rippled across empires? So many ghosts... It was Jai’s fires that burned damane houses with little girls trapped inside. On Daryen’s orders. On the Dragon’s orders. So many screams. So much terror. He’d rather have slit their throats as they slept. It would have been a cleaner death. Faster. Moments rather than minutes that stretched into mountains of time never ending.
He shivered. Biting back the bile in his throat and the chill still flushing his skin from Lythia’s channeling. He only knew one person in the world who could really have the answers. Yes. She would know what to do.
“If I could talk to Nythadri first,” he frowned, gaze flashing through the portal as she could just appear there. She didn’t. It made his heart sink a little. Even if it was foolishness. Jai never claimed to be anything otherwise.
He stepped away, shaking his head. Lythia would be disappointed. He got it, but he couldn’t do it. He had little left to lose after the last time, but what he had was precious. A bit of sanity, and Nythadri. If he could just talk to her first. See what she said was best. Light, if she said it, he’d walk into the Hall of the Tower and say the Seanchan blackmailed Daryen. He could invent some massive plot to hand-wave his reasons. He’d lie through his teeth if Nythadri said it the reason was for the best. Light knew he’d murdered enough people for the greater good. His soul was already stained. What was one more blot?
He shook his head.
“No. This isn’t right. I’m going to go, Lythia Sedai,” he said. He was sorry in a way. But that crowd was full of people. Any of them could speak to the proceedings from the ceremony. He couldn’t do it like this. he almost felt his hand brush the place at his hip where Asad’s sword once occupied. A lesson learned. With a decided nod, he turned. Only to encounter the sudden presence of a hideous face holding a devilish smile. He was startled. But only for a moment. Then he just blinked.
Over the effect of the gateway, he didn’t even feel the chill when Hassalam channeled. And after a moment, all the reasons seemed to just…
…disappear.
Only darkness shows you the light.