Ice

[Nika Raskov]

Nika’s eyes were all over Liv’s face.  What was she thinking?  God, what would she give to be a mind reader right about now!  Was she okay?  She clearly was not but more like, was this just a horrible time and Nika was pushing too hard?  She could back off.  She would back off.  Especially if Liv told her to or asked or…  They could be friends.  Nika could wait.  That train of thought actually made her...feel...sad.  She meant it with every fiber of her being that she could- would wait.  But...Nika didn’t realize how much she was looking forward to seeing someone.  No, not someone; Liv.  Seeing Liv.  Romantically.  The thought of not having that, not having that to look forward to...felt like a loss.  What kind of a giant fucking asshole did that make her?  Jeez.  Here this poor woman is, clearly hurt and afraid to risk herself again and you’re just thinking of yourself.  How very much like YOUR ex does that make you sound?  Maybe you deserved her after all, hmm?  Dickhead.

Nika’s eyes fell, considering her own inner monologue’s point when Liv turned the notebook around.  Of course she looked.  Her brows crept upward.  Wow.  Her expression certainly mirrored that thought.  Nika’s lips parted and closed again before she could summon words.  “I mean...how narcissistic does it make me to say that is phenomenal!”  She shook her head in disbelief.  “Uh.”  What are you, an idiot?  You can’t say that!  “I just…”  Nika actually managed to meet Liv’s gaze before dropping it again to the page.  “...that’s really good.”  Disbelief.  “How did you do that?  That’s...that’s amazing.”  Wow.