03-29-2019, 09:12 PM
“Thank you,” Eiji said.
He was surprised to find he didn’t know quite how to answer. He took out the book and frowned at it.
“Alam-Sama, Freud’s words make me falter. My reading is slow, because I do not quite understand his philosophies. He cheerfully seeks to upset my long held convictions in society, in that it seeks to establish compliance of our Id’s and egos. According to this," jabbing a finger down at the open page, "here it basically says we are imposters. Made like a super man, in the name of the gods, but in fact we are malformed and ugly. I expected him to come to me with lies in the guise of medical jargon, but he came with the truth— and his truth is so obscene it saddens me to see truth itself is amoral. Because we believe the same words, the very same ones, but we value them so differently. That difference has led directly to my sadness. Why does Freud not leave us to our pretend lives, unviolated? Yet he does not. Why did he insist on bringing all his patients (like the rat-man case) to perversion? Why? He may be finely educated and a great expert, but in serving his fine truth above the greater good, as a doctor, he makes himself immoral. Can’t we have hopes of talking with doctors who give us pills and hopes of functioning as a healthy, moral person?”
Eiji looked across at Meera, at the happy face of the doctor in front of him. She wore her feelings where anyone could see them. She greeted him with a grin that made him smile involuntarily.
He could smell blood. He thought it was his until he realized that was impossible. Cambodia, probably more than anywhere else, had left the deepest scars inside him, invisible. It was the chief reason he had a stress migraine behind his eyes and such an adrenaline spike that even his sweat tasted of sour metal.
No man would wage war on his fellow man like this. He thought disparagingly at the scenes not so long ago. It betrayed the actual physical weaknesses of the land and people he fought for. Himself, foremost. Later, there would be pain , but that was not his chief concern. He hoped the new batch of pills Meera gave him would help him cope with the filth and new venoms in his head.
He slowed his breathing to clear his mind. Let me be sharp and true and fast as a spear, he thought. Help me to move forward, without flinching, without balking. Remembering the dream he had last night, Eiji could sense the old, wise face from behind the wolf's snout, the compassion, the support.
You will make the right decision. We trust you.
It wiped the fear from Eiji’s face as he relayed to her his dreams next…
Eiji Lynx
He was surprised to find he didn’t know quite how to answer. He took out the book and frowned at it.
“Alam-Sama, Freud’s words make me falter. My reading is slow, because I do not quite understand his philosophies. He cheerfully seeks to upset my long held convictions in society, in that it seeks to establish compliance of our Id’s and egos. According to this," jabbing a finger down at the open page, "here it basically says we are imposters. Made like a super man, in the name of the gods, but in fact we are malformed and ugly. I expected him to come to me with lies in the guise of medical jargon, but he came with the truth— and his truth is so obscene it saddens me to see truth itself is amoral. Because we believe the same words, the very same ones, but we value them so differently. That difference has led directly to my sadness. Why does Freud not leave us to our pretend lives, unviolated? Yet he does not. Why did he insist on bringing all his patients (like the rat-man case) to perversion? Why? He may be finely educated and a great expert, but in serving his fine truth above the greater good, as a doctor, he makes himself immoral. Can’t we have hopes of talking with doctors who give us pills and hopes of functioning as a healthy, moral person?”
Eiji looked across at Meera, at the happy face of the doctor in front of him. She wore her feelings where anyone could see them. She greeted him with a grin that made him smile involuntarily.
He could smell blood. He thought it was his until he realized that was impossible. Cambodia, probably more than anywhere else, had left the deepest scars inside him, invisible. It was the chief reason he had a stress migraine behind his eyes and such an adrenaline spike that even his sweat tasted of sour metal.
No man would wage war on his fellow man like this. He thought disparagingly at the scenes not so long ago. It betrayed the actual physical weaknesses of the land and people he fought for. Himself, foremost. Later, there would be pain , but that was not his chief concern. He hoped the new batch of pills Meera gave him would help him cope with the filth and new venoms in his head.
He slowed his breathing to clear his mind. Let me be sharp and true and fast as a spear, he thought. Help me to move forward, without flinching, without balking. Remembering the dream he had last night, Eiji could sense the old, wise face from behind the wolf's snout, the compassion, the support.
You will make the right decision. We trust you.
It wiped the fear from Eiji’s face as he relayed to her his dreams next…
Eiji Lynx
Viktor Lih
Officer of CCDPD
Officer of CCDPD