Jacinda Cross

[Jacinda]

       
2031

Jacinda loaded up her stuff into the forerunner, occassionally sneaking glances at Jill. They hadn't talked about the night before. She felt shy. The fuck?

In truth, there was a moment, in the between world of sleep and wake, where she had thought she had imagined the whole thing.

And strangely, she felt both sorrow and relief at the thought. Sorrow, because she really hoped it was real. Why, she wasn't sure. A kiss was just a kiss. It didn't mean anything. Lots of people kissed- for lots of reasons.

And yet...in the dream it had seemed to her that a shadow of a pathway had opened up, missed unless seen at just the right angle. She had already broached the idea of a permanent hunting partner. Was it that much more of a stretch to see it as something deeper?

Part of her shied away at that. The hope it had just been a dream. Just a kiss. Nothing more. Jill had been drinking. And she had been 'chained' up for a long while. Jacinda had been with her on this hunt, which she guessed was her first real freedom in a long while.

So maybe she didn't actually feel anything beyond friendship with Jacinda. And so Jacinda hadn't risked herself after all. Especially after she had been so careful. How nice would that be.

She wasn't sure how she felt about the reality of the situation.

But of course she let none of this show. Dumb jokes, quips, and aggressive flirting were her defenses. It was funny. People were so stupid. No one ever knew how seriously to take anything she said. And it worked, had always worked. So she had control at all times. She decided what she'd do, not anyone else.

Jill, though, for her part, seemed to smile secretively to herself, as if seeing more. And Jacinda had to stifle any reading into it.

At one point, their hands brushed as Jacinda handed her a water bottle and it took all her control not to smile like a moron despite the thrill that ran through her.

But the thing was, as they headed north on 89, and then east on 160 towards Tuba City and on to Kayenta, something started to happen. It was as if Jill began to sink in on herself.

And each mile they made broke Jacinda's heart more and more, seeing this amazing woman suddenly shrink in on herself, a star dying, losing its light. It built her resolve. This was a woman worth having by her side, even just as a partner. And she was a good one too. So even as their conversation drifted aimlessly, her courage increased. No fear, right?

They were passing Ts'eg'i Canyon and its small farms within the valleys nestled between the fingers of Skeleton Mesa as it jutted into the earth when she finally said, "So...we have to finish this. The skinwalker is out there. But...why don't you come with me after we get it? The country is a big place..." She paused, then turning to look at her, slowly added, "...and I like being with you. We'd make a good team."

Jacinda felt a slight leap in her heart as Jill's face seemed to light up a bit. "I...yeah. We would."

It was a stupid risk to take for Jacinda. They hadn't known each other long. And she wasn't sure what this was. And yet....that shadowy corridor presented itself.

And she knew. If you never risked anything, you never got anything. Jill deserved happiness. But Jacinda realized, she did too.

Mother fucking deserved it.