Pass the Mic

[Nox]

When the truth came out - the reason for her sadness Nox felt all the pain he'd been keeping back. Innocence dies when you do stupid things. Losing someone because of their actions. It was all too real. Sara went down to the bar, requested their presence. But Nox stood at the railing even after Ivan went down. "I'll be down in a second." Maybe.

Nox stared out over the mechanical garden and wished for a moment he was self serving enough to just jump. Not that falling out of a plane had had any affect. He hadn't died then. He hadn't died with the Atharim. In all his failures he survived. The hell hound attacked his mother in front of his eyes. He could do nothing even if he hadn't frozen. How do you kill something you can't see? He remembered his dreams. The big black dogs with their red eyes. The fear, the pain, the loss... it was all so very real.

He saw his father waste away in front of him. He lost his sister in front of him. Only one failure did he actually solve himself. Take care of end. He couldn't even take revenge on his sister's killer. He was grateful for Aria's cold hearted demeanor then, but it had been her down fall. Dane's death pushed her over the edge she teatered on a daily basis since meeting the sociopath. The world was a better place without them. But the fact that he'd not pulled her back, that she tried to kill him. He had killed her in the end. And even as he fulfilled his promise to her he failed.

Everything was a failure. But the world went on. His sister would hate him if he jumped. She'd kill him again and again until the end of time if he ended his own life. There was only one thing to do. Enough self pity. Enough of the world to seeing his pain. He'd mastered the subterfudge of living a normal life. This was no different. A quick smile and his fingers through his hair and Nox was a different person. Happy, free, a smile for anyone, a scarastic comment to make a day different. Not always for the best but made them change emotions.

He went down, saw Ivan and Sara and he let his smile widen. He wouldn't share his problems, but he'd be there for someone else. "We'll talk to them." Nox added as he sat down. The bartender looked at him with a question of what do you want. "I'll take a black coffee if you have one." He wasn't going to drink. "Water or coke otherwise." That they'd have. He wasn't his father. He wasn't going to give up on life on his family or his friends.