09-27-2018, 11:35 PM
(This post was last modified: 09-28-2018, 12:08 AM by Jay Carpenter.)
She floated close as a breeze. A wind that touched his cheek; words that circled unrecognizable. He didn’t want to breathe for fear of chasing it away. Didn’t want to breathe at all.
"Then stop letting me go, stupid."
A huge smile broke like sun through clouds. The last thing he saw were the sinful eyes that he’d swear he’d see the moment he died. Hopefully that was a long day off. Until then, every single day.
He sank into her arms, arms circling snug. Tendrils of golden hair tickled soft on rough cheeks. He’d still never shaved even after the long-waited sleep at the hotel. Shade darkened their world with the lilt of the hat. He wished it was bigger if only to hide them completely.
That hair tangled in his hands. Mindful he wouldn’t hurt her, but the ropes of his discipline were frayed and dropped completely. Anna Marie kissed him with almost as much hunger, but unreciprocated. It was a hunger for the past; for mourning a future befitting neither of them. Oh they could have done it. Jay might never have enlisted in the first place; might have accepted the swordarm of fate and remained severed from the world beyond these green plains. Stayed behind on the farm. She’d be the hot-shot pharmacist; he the rancher. Thanksgiving and beer. Kiddos and baseball. Thing was, he’d be out of his mind by 30. Alcoholic probably. Numbness was bliss, after all. Shame erased. Pride left behind in the dirt. Maybe as addicted to something as his own dad.
That epiphany almost broke him away from Natalie.
Almost.
For her bravery. For her bloody grit. For devotion he never deserved and couldn’t understand. But like that wind, if he grasped at it too fiercely, it would stream onward uncatchable.
He returned every fevered touch. Her hands flared his ribs hot while his dug grips into her back. Palms raced the length of slender arms. Fingers twined together and splayed apart. He wanted to walk her somewhere. Anywhere. Sink into a carpet of grass and twist together until the stars twinkled diamond in her pale gaze. It couldn’t end. Didn’t want it to end. The world could burn for all he cared. It would burn before he found the will to pull away.
His mind fell quiet for once. A blessed silence that echoed only with the sounds of Natalie’s breath and the croak of a spring twilight. His heart could beat no more steady in that moment.
"Then stop letting me go, stupid."
A huge smile broke like sun through clouds. The last thing he saw were the sinful eyes that he’d swear he’d see the moment he died. Hopefully that was a long day off. Until then, every single day.
He sank into her arms, arms circling snug. Tendrils of golden hair tickled soft on rough cheeks. He’d still never shaved even after the long-waited sleep at the hotel. Shade darkened their world with the lilt of the hat. He wished it was bigger if only to hide them completely.
That hair tangled in his hands. Mindful he wouldn’t hurt her, but the ropes of his discipline were frayed and dropped completely. Anna Marie kissed him with almost as much hunger, but unreciprocated. It was a hunger for the past; for mourning a future befitting neither of them. Oh they could have done it. Jay might never have enlisted in the first place; might have accepted the swordarm of fate and remained severed from the world beyond these green plains. Stayed behind on the farm. She’d be the hot-shot pharmacist; he the rancher. Thanksgiving and beer. Kiddos and baseball. Thing was, he’d be out of his mind by 30. Alcoholic probably. Numbness was bliss, after all. Shame erased. Pride left behind in the dirt. Maybe as addicted to something as his own dad.
That epiphany almost broke him away from Natalie.
Almost.
For her bravery. For her bloody grit. For devotion he never deserved and couldn’t understand. But like that wind, if he grasped at it too fiercely, it would stream onward uncatchable.
He returned every fevered touch. Her hands flared his ribs hot while his dug grips into her back. Palms raced the length of slender arms. Fingers twined together and splayed apart. He wanted to walk her somewhere. Anywhere. Sink into a carpet of grass and twist together until the stars twinkled diamond in her pale gaze. It couldn’t end. Didn’t want it to end. The world could burn for all he cared. It would burn before he found the will to pull away.
His mind fell quiet for once. A blessed silence that echoed only with the sounds of Natalie’s breath and the croak of a spring twilight. His heart could beat no more steady in that moment.
Only darkness shows you the light.