Don't Be Afraid

[Natalie Grey]

Consequences. The word veered up in a way that Ekene shied away from. Jared said a lot, opening up so much for Ekene to think about, but for now it was too much. His thoughts jerked away. He flinched at the name legionnaire Carpenter, as though it somehow made it all the more real. This vast dark cloud. This nemesis. His eyes squeezed shut. His head hung loose on his shoulders. When Jared's hand retreated Ekene didn't move, but for a long time neither did he speak. He was drowning in all the words, all the feelings. The future was ugly and unknowable, and it swallowed him up until he wondered if it would be better to have no future at all. "I don't know. I don't know what to do."
The words came out fragile as glass, but he didn't ask for advice. Not in this moment, anyway. But he shared his vulnerability with an honestly that would have been beyond him minutes ago. This day it was all he had left to give.

Ekene stood abruptly. Jared was kinder than he ought to be, and Ekene had no way to repay him. The advice would take a while to sink in. But for now the need to escape urged him away from a sanctuary he didn't feel he deserved. A hand raked harshly over tear-dried cheeks. "I need to go,"
he mumbled. Guilt gnawed, new and old, and he could no longer bear to confront it, or the man who offered so much to help him.

He didn't deserve it.

Black eyes lingered for a moment longer on the legionnaire, and then quick thumping steps marked Ekene's exit back up the dark stairs.