Getting Attention

[Raffe]

Raffe fully expected the usual quip; because, yes, he could think of plenty of things to keep Nox’s attention, and it was perfectly evident by the slow curve of his grin. If there was also a kernel of truth in the anxiety of being left behind, what orphan didn’t nurse those dark thoughts from time to time? Nox brushed shoulders with the most powerful man in the world, and Raffe lived in the box room of a burlesque club. He couldn’t compete with the sorts of people the other man was likely to meet at those lofty heights; someone or something was bound to snag his attention sooner or later. But Nox had been perfectly upfront from the beginning, and if Raffe juggled his own heart in his hands he at least did it knowingly.

Instead the soft words were surprisingly tender, though they caught him entirely off guard. It wasn’t the first time this one had rendered him utterly speechless, but this time the warmth of feelings evoked flushed through him like a heartbeat. Last night’s words had been sleepy, and if they had made him smile at the time they were also not something he’d ever planned to mention, or take too seriously, or try to decipher. He accepted them for what they were in the moment, tucking them away like treasure but not necessarily like a promise.

Nox sat forward. Raffe scrubbed a hand through his hair, breathing deep. He was still waiting to be told to fuck off? Why would I..?

The insecurities were like wounds, and he’d known they were there but not how deep they travelled. Raffe wore his heart right on his sleeve, and while the girls teased him for his laid-back nature, he was not fickle. It was true he loved people, in all their varieties, and he was generous with his time and affections -- and he certainly had his own past. But he didn’t play with feelings, and he knew when he wanted something. So in the evenings when he curled up next to Nox while they fell asleep, it was because he wanted to be there. It didn’t change in the morning. It didn’t change because of Nox’s responsibilities. He wasn’t going anywhere.

By the time Nox sat back, Raffe’s eyes were a little wide, his skin lightly flush. He hadn’t interrupted at all but he was clearly still processing. His arm still rested on the bench behind, but now his hand moved to caress the back of Nox’s neck instead. His fingers tangled in the hair at his nape, splaying it lightly through his fingers, because he didn’t want his quiet to be construed as anything bad. Those kinds of confessions should not be cast to the rocks of another man’s silence.

He pressed his head close, delaying the moment in a shelter of intimacy. His smile kept flickering like he wasn’t really sure he could trust it, or at least how bright it wanted to beam, but the word happy was spinning around in his head -- and especially the way Nox had said it. It was like he didn’t quite know what to make of such a strange prize, and it made Raffe’s chest ache to think how little of it he may have known.

“You can’t change the past, and we don’t know the future,” he said eventually. Soft, not just because of his ruined voice. “I’m not going anywhere either. I don’t want to.” This could be exactly whatever it was, and Nox didn’t have to worry about labels; that's what he wanted to say, but he was afraid it’d all come out somehow wrong, that he’d seem too keen or not keen enough, so instead he drew Nox’s jaw soft in his hand and kissed him. It seemed an infinitely better way to speak.

He didn’t pull back far, or very quickly when he did. “You will get another chance. You’d better.” His lips played a grin, teasing. “And you’re, ah, totally sure you have to meet this Atharim guy right now?” He wasn’t likely to ever purposefully stand in the way of Nox’s need to do the right thing; it was part of the other man’s draw, so the words were not serious, though the soft way he looked at Nox now was.

[Nox]

There was silence. Nox felt it in every fiber of his being. But the tender caress at the nape of his neck stirred deeper things. Darker ones. But it eased that fear of rejection. It wasn't rejection his fingers only needed to tug a little and Nox would ... Nox didn't want to think about losing control until he knew what he was dealing with. His aggression was getting stronger. Nox was never a think first type of guy, but he had to be now. There was something to lose.

The relief when Raffe finally spoke relaxed Nox even future. But it was the kiss - so tender... Nox wasn't ready to use the "L" word yet, but fuck if he didn't know what this was. But they weren't going to put labels on it. It seemed to be an unspoken thing between them.

Raffe was confident he'd survive. Nox wasn't but he would live in that moment with Raffe.

A grin splayed across Nox's lips when Raffe propositioned him. He chuckled softly but his body agreed with the sentiment. Nox didn't want to pull away, but if they wanted to be alone then he'd have to walk someplace else. Nox stood up and looked around. He didn't see the man he was looking for, but the cameras all seemed trained on him. He doubted they had moved but Nox knew he couldn't take Raffe home - but Aria's place wasn't too far. And if Asha might not be there. She hadn't been when Nox had looked to check on her during his walks.

Nox offered Raffe a hand. "We can wait for him someplace else. I have the key to a friend's place. They shouldn't be there." Nox didn’t say the friend was dead - or that he killed her. He didn’t mention Asha either. Those things might kill the mood. And Nox didn’t want to kill the mood - he very much liked the mood. It was both distracting and pain relief, all the more reason to engage in what he hoped was more than just kissing.

Nox bit his bottom lip while he waited for Raffe to take his hand. He wanted this more than he wanted anything else before - with anyone else before.

[Raffe]

He let his soppy heart be swept away in the kiss. It didn’t bother him they were in public, and it didn’t occur to him that that was the point of Nox’s being here. It felt like a drench of sunlight, the first sweet day of true summer, and he was perfectly enamoured of the sensation. His gaze rose as Nox stood, belatedly understanding that his tease had hit a mark. It warred in him a little; the sense that he didn’t want to become an obstacle in the road to duty, or a distraction that might get Nox killed. But he was also thinking of the warmth of mussed blankets, of the way Nox’s skin smelled, and of the ache left of temperance. 

Raffe was romantic in matters of the heart, yet he also lived undeniably in the moment. You couldn’t count on a tomorrow; he’d known that since he was a kid. He cleared his throat a little as he shifted and stood, a little flush, and definitely not looking at the way the other man’s teeth sank into his lip. The answer of his grin was crooked, the light in his eyes as blue as the sky above as he took Nox’s hand.

[Nox]

The look alone on Raffe's face made Nox glad that Aria's place wasn't far. If Asha was there, Nox knew a place he could go, but it was hardly romantic for their first time to be in some ratty motel. There was a part of Nox that said even Aria's place was a bit low ball. But Nox didn't want to wait till they found their way home. Nox couldn't let Raffe lead the Atharim home. And trying to evade cameras was sure to kill the mood. Though they could go to Dorian's. That would be better. And they could get out without a problem.

Nox entwined his fingers in Raffe's. "Change of plans. Someplace a little more swanky and still affordable."

It was a walk. And Nox made sure to pass by all the right cameras too.

The Vega estate in Moscow was newly fortified. Crude stone walls were erected around the property leaving on the drive way gate unprotected. Nox looked at the lawn and saw no leavings of traps made of the power like there used to be. There was a stinging bit of hurt as he walked up the alley. Nox had intended to head into the side door of the grand three floor mansion, but Christian was waiting for him by the door. Nox pulled Raffe closer and walked to the main house.

"I didn't expect to see you back so soon after your last visit."

Nox grinned at Christian. "I was hoping to use the spare bedroom in the basement and then escape through the tunnels when we were ready to go home."

Christian laughed. "Everything is as you left it. Ana decided it would stay that way hoping you'd come back." He nodded towards Raffe with a bright smile. "Your friends are always welcome here too." He offered Raffe his hand, [b]"I'm Christian, welcome to our house. Don't let him keep you in the basement. The whole house is available."[\b] Christian moved to the side allowing them to enter.

They walked in and pangs of nostalgia hit home, mostly for the loss of Nova as he headed down the hall past the unused dinning room with seating for twelve and into the grand kitchen Nox missed most. But he still didn't feel at home until he was walking down the stairs into the familiar musty smell of what he'd turned into a home. Nox didn't give Raffe a tour until their feet were on the floor of the basement. "This is where I was before Kallisti. Before Dorian betrayed me and I left." Nox pointed to the rubberized flooring and fireproof walls. "This was partially where I trained." There were tennis ball machines set up at various locations dusty from lack of use surrounding the rubberized mat. A set of weights and a punching bag sat in the far corner. And in the middle of it all was a simple couch that overlooked it all next to a small fridge which probably still held beer. Nox tugged Raffe down a hall and and pointed into a small room with no door - a simple bed and a rock rolled in front of a make shift tunnel were the only contents. "The walls of the room are lined with lead to keep out some of the more dangerous Atharim weapons. And an escape route if you use the power to move the boulder. I slept in there."

Nox pushed open the room across from the escape route. The bed was neatly made and Nox felt slightly uncomfortable coming in since he'd never really been in it for more than a few minutes. "We can stay as long as we like."

But now that they had walked all this way, and Nox gave Raffe the small tour he felt nervous. The desire wasn't gone as he looked over at Raffe, but the immediacy of it was gone. Maybe now wasn't the right time? Did Raffe even want to now? Did he ever? Was it just a joke? Nox knew that he had, he'd seen it in his face, but now there was doubt. A lot of fucking doubt.

[Raffe]

Raffe’s brows rose. He laughed, nudging Nox in the ribs. “Swanky? Haven’t got to impress me, you know.”

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but an estate probably wasn’t it. The place was huge; a veritable mansion, and Raffe felt pretty small in the centre of it. Kallisti was grand, but it was all artifice -- a lie wrapped up in pretty ribbon to sell to the customers, and therein was the joke. He didn’t think he’d ever even set foot somewhere like this, and for a brief moment he reflected on his old clothes and the scar at his throat, resisting the urge to rub it under his palm. Not that the man who welcomed them on the threshold was anything but welcoming. Raffe shook Christian’s hand, personable with his own greeting even if he felt somewhat out of his depth. People were people, and Raffe was not inclined to judge. Rather, he adapted quickly.

He followed Nox down to the basement. He was insanely curious, but there was little personal to be seen, and nothing to suggest the essence of who he understood Nox to really be. Raffe had never had the disposable income to furnish his own room as he’d like, but even at Kallisti he’d splashed it with a sense of homeliness. Plants crowded the windowsill, and his bedsheets were colourful and clashing. Though home had always been a somewhat mobile concept, and even Kallisti had only been home since his injury, it had always been important to him, that sense of belonging. This was functional; a life built for purpose. 

Still, he took it all in eagerly, offered glimpse that it was into a new facet of the man he quite suddenly realised had drawn uncharacteristically quiet. 

Raffe twisted round, hands dug into his pockets. Surprise flared his expression, then concern.

“You’re worried,” he accused softly. “About the Atharim guy? I promise to stay out of the way if you need me too, I won’t be a burden. Unless it’s … well, I mean they clearly miss you.” His chin gestured upwards, meaning the household Nox had escaped to find sanctuary in Kallisti’s walls. They’d spoken of happiness before; words that still warmed Raffe from the inside out. He drew closer, expression soft, wanting to pull Nox out of whatever private nostalgia drew him pensive. There were probably memories here, maybe not good ones. “It must be strange being back?” He brushed his hand along Nox's arm, like it might draw him to speak. He wanted the man like he wanted to breathe, but he wasn't a base fumble either.

[Nox]

Nox laughed, he wasn't trying to impress Raffe. "I wasn't. I'm probably more embarrassed by bring you here than trying to impress you with it. I brought you here cause I can get you home from here without any camera's seeing where we go." It was an ulterior motive for sure, and the beds were comfortable and he wouldn't feel guilty about what happens in the beds here. Christian was used to cleaning other people's messes. Not that Nox intended for Christian to clean up after himself, but he was pretty sure the man did so anyway even though this was his house now. His and Ana's anyway.

Raffe's look was one of surprise and then concern, Nox was not being himself and he got it all wrong. He thought it was because he was here. But he wasn't farther from the truth. "A lot of memories, I miss Nova. But ..." Nox shook his head and grabbed Raffe's hand that was on his arm. It was a comfort he'd needed, and the touch had reminded Nox why he'd come here. "I'm not worried about the Atharim or being here. I could come back, but this isn't home. Kallisti is more home than here ever was." Nox winked at Raffe as he tugged the other man towards the bed, backing up until his legs hit the edge of the bed. "Though if I had company I might be persuaded to stay."

The darkness shimmered in the background. The need and desire was at the forefront, fueling his darker impulses. Nox leaned in, he wanted to kiss Raffe, but he held back, taking in the closeness, the feel of the other man in front of him. "I don't trust the darker impulses, I am at your mercy." Nox tugged at Raffe's shirt slipping his hand underneath to feel the warmth of his skin. "I want this," he chuckled, "But I fear you'll be doing most of the undressing, I can't manage to do it myself without the power coursing through me. And I don't trust myself, not right now, not with what I want to do with you." He could if he had to, but Nox was confident Raffe wanted this as much as he did. One last out before things went too far. Nox tried not to think about the rejection, he focused only on the man in front of him. His need for Raffe too great to wait for a complete answer Nox leaned in the rest of the way and kissed Raffe - kissed him the way Nox has been wanting to for a long time - filled with passion and heat and hunger.

[Raffe]

There was that word again. Home. He let Nox talk as he usually did, concern unravelling much as the grin sprang sudden to his lips when he was tugged closer. The air bunched in his lungs, caught in the heady glow of closeness that was not quite touching, and the words became a little lost -- not that he wasn’t listening so much as he was infinitely distracted, particularly when Nox’s hand sought the heat of skin. The muscles tightened. He might’ve forgotten how to breathe. Then there was only the taste of him.

Even in the public sphere of the hospital Raffe had not been shy of his affections, but this was the first time they’d been alone and unfettered by self-preserved boundaries. He’d already seen Nox naked; had slept pressed alongside him, intimacy that fluttered in his chest even in memory. Small bridges to a heart better left out of the arena, but he’d always burned brightly like that. Hunger poured like noon-day sun now. He reached up for Nox’s jaw. Ran fingers through dark hair as the need built and he let it. Then he reached for the back of his own collar to pull it over his head. His lips found the hollow of Nox’s neck soon after, hands trailing the flat of the other man’s stomach.

[Nox]

There was little left of his control when Raffe's hand found his jaw and then Raffe's mouth found his neck and the rest was a blur. Hands, lips, teeth. Clothing lost in slow motion. Not for lack of urgency. Need and want had become one. Heat and desire pushed and pulled. Nox had wanted this. Wanted to remember more than anything. Nothing dulled the sensation as every time before with a man. it was a passing thought - something shared with Raffe - a first so to speak - so hard to remember those in the heat of the moment.

Bodies pressed together, the bed rumpled with their adventures. The fog of pleasure uninterrupted.

Heaving chests. Breath lost and returned. The peak of pleasure as one, only to collapse into a pile of goo when done.

Covered in sweat and sex and curled against Raffe - it wasn't either of their bed, but the thought was pushed away. Though it lingered nearby. This wasn't home. Maybe they should have waited till then. Nox tilted his head to press a kiss to the scar and Raffe's throat then the bottom of his chin. "I'm speechless." Nox said filling the void of the companionable silence. "I'm not dreaming am I?" It had been a common theme in the dreams that came when Raffe stayed the night.

But Nox knew he had to move soon. For two reasons, the first was the Atharim could be outside waiting for him, and two he had to take Raffe home through the tunnels so Kallisti would be safe.

[Raffe]

There was a distinct smile on his lips. Nox’s kiss made him shiver.

Mussed sheets in a strange bed in a strange house probably didn’t make the setting for the most romantic place they could have picked, but Raffe didn’t regret a second. A little laughter wheezed from his throat for the earnestness of the reaction, skin flushing a little deeper. His fingers absently wove through Nox’s hair, and belatedly he remembered Nox saying something about being new. Relatively new. Something like that. He didn’t ask about it though. “Not unless I am too.”

He was in no great hurry to move, even knowing this moment was both stolen and fleeting. A languidness soothed his limbs, and he’d have quite liked to nuzzle closer and shut his eyes, but there wasn’t time for that either -- he’d known it even before heat and desire took over. Not that he wouldn’t hold on as long as he could. Nox would need help getting back into his clothes as much as he had getting out of them, and as soon as the other man showed signs of rousing Raffe would too without prompting.

[Jerry]

Jerry watched the feed of Nox and his friend. It was like a window into a bedroom he didn't want to watch. But the display was obvious if not intended. The boy's reaction was surprise at finding the man sitting there. A blossoming romance he watched only because he was staring off into space trying to figure out why the man was luring him out. It was a trap. That much Jer knew.

And then they left with shit eating grins on their faces. Back to the Vega estate. Inside and then he lost all contact. There was no hacking into their security system. There was nothing he could do but wait. Instead of stare at the feed Jer made an effort. There would be no killing in front of the Vega estate - the home of a cop. It was probably safer than any other location he could choose to meet.

Jer waited in the van for a long time. Had he left while he was leaving his own apartment to come here. No. Jer didn't think so.

Her pulled his leather jacket around his shoulders and stepped out of the van and walked right up to the door. He knew to stay off the grass. He had seen footage of what could happen if something bad went down, and while the god didn't live there anymore, he could have done any number of things and Jer would never have known.

Jer knocked on the door.