The First Age
Monster Attack in New Zealand! - Printable Version

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- Manix - 09-17-2016

**Breaking News**

Larson Lir', a fishing and merchant tycoon, released information and a video of an "unknown" monster that attacked the families defensive ship "The Rage". Captain SynJyn Quick, leader of the elite Viking's aired this report.

"Attention all vessels, this is Defensive Ship "The Rage" at 1400 Zulu we encountered a destroyed passenger vessel located at -34.086 x 171.997. Upon attempted rescue efforts we encounter a previous unknown beast that was capable of swallowing lifeboats whole. Video attachments are available of the encounter. Consider all ship traffic in this area extremely dangerous."


(The briefing was followed by several security camera feeds showing the monster swallowing the lifeboat whole, the Vikings taking up defensive position followed by several shots of the monster from different angles)

While some experts are already claiming this is a elaborate hoax, others are not so sure. Our own oceanologist has this to say: "This is not the first such report, it is the first with such conclusive evidence. Add this to the mystery of the discovery of several dead and half eaten giant squid and it is hard to say this is a hoax."
Larson Lir' had this to say in response to the critics: "I no be giving a damn what they think, the warning stand, believe or not, is no me concern. The Lir' family gets no profit from such a tale, so the critics can bugger off."


So there you have it, believe or not, i'd avoid surfing in that area for awhile.

Janet Danes reporting


- Jaxen Marveet - 09-18-2016

Commenter: Jack-B-Quik
Time: 1:56 am

Nutz. New Zealand is such a shithole this time of year





- Jay Carpenter - 09-21-2016

Comment: FishfacedA55

*watched video.

Huh. Looks like my ex girlfriend.